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Marigold, curry and heaven in a cup
March 26, 2013 Amy

Good day, Dear Readers:

So far, today, I’ve screamed at my computer four times. We’ll see how long it takes to do it again. Some days I dream of throwing all three laptops up against the wall and watching them smash into a million pieces. But with the walls around here, I’m sure just the case will be broken and nothing will happen. Nightmare: the damn things will still work. So I walked my neighbor’s dog and forgot it for a while. He’s a pretty good pug. He listens and doesn’t offer opinions. He does bark if we pet another dog in his presence, though. He did that with an adorable little German shepherd puppy today.

This past weekend, I watched a fantastic film, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.  Although it’s on HBO now, I requested the DVD from the library. In October. I kid you not. I’ll return it tomorrow, since there are a thousand other folks requesting it in Harris County. I’ve watched it twice so that I could enjoy it and see a little more in it than I did the first time. This is a wonderful film that has one–I repeat, ONE–instance of the “F” word (not “food”) towards the end, when Dev Patel screams it at the brother of his girlfriend. There is also some “nudity”–consisting of one guy’s bare feet and one of the female leads is topless. When I say “topless,” I mean you see her bare shoulders. Sonny’s girlfriend gets naked, takes off her shoes, and you see her back, but not anything else. That’s it. You don’t see full frontal anything here.

I would say these are “adult situations,” only because I don’t think anyone under 30 or 40 will appreciate this movie. But that’s just me, some twenty-somethings might actually like it, too.

My trick for catching all the dialogue: turn on the closed-captioning, especially if it’s a British film, since you might not catch everything without it. I happen to know what PG Tips is (regular British tea that will knock your socks off, they also a very delicious Decaf), as well as Chocolate Hobnobs (although I’ve never had those.) Pickled eggs and pickled onions, I just don’t get.

In honor of their first night at the hotel, manager Sonny (Dev Patel’s character) has his kitchen prepare “Roast Goat Curry.” Um, what? These are British seniors, not accustomed to the exotic spices and curries of India. And, well, you’ll see how they deal with it. Judi Densch’s character starts naming off the different dishes that are a bit confusing to nearly all of them.

Don’t look at me. I once had a shrimp curry in a British-style pub in Delray Beach, FL. That was good, but the time before that I made beef curry. . .well, let’s just say curry doesn’t agree with me. But Suzanne Somers has a great chicken curry recipe in one of her books  that I do like.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is a very, very good film. Go see it, or get the DVD from RedBox, or on demand, or catch it on HBO. Here’s a couple of “spoilers:” despite a couple of predictable things, it has a happy ending, and you will be glad you watched it. It’s a long film, but worth your time if you want to see a really GOOD movie.

That being said. . . .

I was one busy kitty cat yesterday, and in my busy day I made time to head over to Starbucks to use a coupon I got last week for a free coffee. Actually, not *just* a free coffee, but a Hazelnut Macchiato. See, when you have a registered Starbucks card–really, just a standard gift card that you use in a Starbucks to get coffee and food and refill–you get coupons for stuff occasionally, as well as a free drink of your choice on your birthday. (They started those back in the day when they charged for Internet access; now it’s free.) Last year I had them make me a large (Grande, I think) decaf latte. That’s a $5 cup of coffee, BTW.  They couldn’t give me a second latte, but they did refill the huge cup with decaf drip. Good enough for me. I had free coffee from Starbucks!

Starbucks: Safe Haven With Food.

When I go to Starbucks, it’s not very often, and it’s because I’m out somewhere and I can stop there and get a quick bite or just a coffee. That’s what they do, right? I keep $25 or so on that card just for that purpose. (When I had a boyfriend we’d go in for breakfast; that’s how I started occasionally having their breakfast sandwiches.) You get “stars” every time you stop in and use the card to purchase something, and, well, there are neat things that get emailed to you occasionally. Like a free tall Hazelnut Macchiato.

I have a cappuccino machine at home, (leftover from being married to someone who thought we *should* have one) which I use on occasion when I have cow’s milk around. (Not often, and I don’t know if almond milk would work. Maybe I’ll try it one day.) I know what the foamy milk is like, and having had the occasional latte, I know that too.

This was more than a latte. They even made it decaf for me.

Let me say at this point that the only reason I had a 12 ounce, $3.50 cup of coffee yesterday was because I had a coupon for a free one, the result of having the registered Starbucks card. And that if it were another special occasion (and I had a regular income and could easily afford it) I might also have one. But not very often. It’s what most of us would call a “splurge.”

Oh, yes. . . .

First you taste the light, frothy milk, and then the smoky flavor of hazelnut comes through. Then as you sip farther, the coffee taste comes through, and it melds together in one swirl of heady, tasty components like a multi-flavored syrup. It stayed warm all the way to the bottom with my coffee cup cozy I made (they also sell them at Starbucks for about $5, I make mine from scrap fabrics), and by the time I made my last stop at Vitamin Shoppe, I had the lid off and was licking the mocha colored milk from the inside of the cup while it was upside down so it would drip towards me.

Yup, that’s me, minding my manners. Hey–the kids don’t care, either.

Do note that this “handcrafted coffee drink” is also about 180 calories for the one I had (in addition to being $3.50.) Larger, of course, is more and has more, depending on what they frothed in it and percentages. I mean, they have a formula, but there could be slight differences in each cup (that’s what Starbucks says on their website.) That’s like having a candy bar or even a Larabar, right? So do take that into consideration if you are thinking about trying one.

It’s a splurge, OK? For a special occasion. But that’s just me. You could get fat slurping these down all the time if you’re not careful.

Now, I took a sip at the counter before I left, and the first thing I said was “OMG, that’s so good!” There was a guy standing next to me waiting for his Venti-something-or-other, and he looks at me with a smile and and casually says,

“Is this your first experience with a Hazelnut Macchiato?”

I said yes, it was. Didn’t occur to me til later that this boy actually asked me that question. Looked to be college age, and I figured he was a student at University of Houston Clear Lake (UHCL), since that store is the closest, I think, to the campus. Chatted briefly, then left, since I had other things to do last night.

“Is this your first experience with a Hazelnut Macchiato?”

I still can’t believe someone actually asked me that about a cup of coffee. Gotta admit, there are some pretty nice folks in Starbucks, although I don’t spend that much time in them.

I think it was last year that there was a certain group of people who were boycotting Starbucks on Valentine’s Day because they wouldn’t do something they thought the company should. This went around on Facebook and other social media, so, I made a point of stopping by and getting a panini on the way home for dinner. I told the young barista that I was “boycotting the boycott.” He said I was the third person to tell him that, and it was the busiest day of the year so far!

Also I discovered one day, quite by accident, that if there are more than one baristas wearing those drive-through headsets, they can actually talk to each other ON the headsets without anyone on the outside knowing about it. In fact, I only discovered it because I was watching them while my coffee was being made. No kidding! Watch them while the other barista gets your muffin or heats up that breakfast sandwich for you.

Hey–fun is where you can find it.

Happy Dining!!

Considered opinions,Desserts
The Cooking Garden and Pesto
March 22, 2013 Amy

Hello, Dear Readers:

With the news this week that Twinkies may be returning to store shelves this summer, all of a sudden, I WANT ONE. And a packet of Ding Dongs, too, please. Or, maybe the chocolate cupcakes. Yes, I know what’s in them. I want some. Just once.

It would really be fun to do a side-by-side taste test of the Hostess Twinkies and the new Twinkies and see if they got it right. I hope so. Or there’s gonna be a whole lot of upset sugar junkies in this country. There could be trouble if even one molecule is changed, you know.

Well, it’s been another busy and confusing week here in my neck of the woods, and that time change thing didn’t do me any favors. I’ve been TIRED since last week, and not up to doing anything spectacular. The weather is warming up nicely, and while I have had the patio doors open to get some fresh air this week, I know it’s time to put away the jackets and the wonderful winter boots I bought in 2011 from Lands’ End. I wore them one night last week when I went to the pub to meet a friend of mine. One last time until the fall. Also, they’re flat, so if I get a bit tiddly I won’t fall off of them.

I got a teeny bit tiddly, but didn’t get into any trouble. I promise.

So if in spring, a young man’s heart turns to romance, a young woman’s mind turns to dieting, and what I she’s gonna look like in a bathing suit real soon. While I haven’t dieted in some time, I am thinking about finally getting back to fitness and maybe dropping some of the dreaded excess that seems to follow me around when I’m not careful or get OBE (“Overcome By Events,” an IT technical term.) I found a DVD that I got with the Belly Burner a few years ago and forgot about, called Blazing Abs. (I also forget the Belly Burner frequently.) I would like to start with that one, but I’m kinda tired. To my credit, I have been using my Thighmaster combo, and also managed to get long walks in a couple of times this week. So I’m not entirely sedentary. Just need to be *more* mobile, darnit.

So one of the many things I need to do once I wake up is get on my back patio, dig up the weeds, tidy it up and start planting both in the ground and in the containers. If you’re thinking of elegantly thrown pottery like you see on any of Martha Stewart’s shows, well, keep thinking that, because I use 5 gallon plastic paint buckets.

Currently, I have a smaller plastic pot with mint in it (mostly brown but a few green leaves at the ends), two small planters with green onions in it (more about that in a minute), and one paint bucket with the top off a pineapple in it. I have no idea what’s going on with it, but it’s stuck in there pretty good. Have no idea if it’s growing a pineapple or not, and I’m afraid to dig down there and find out. There’s also rosemary, which seems to grow in desert conditions, because it’s fresh and green and growing like. . .weeds.

Last summer wasn’t a good one after I was laid off, and I pretty much neglected the garden, unfortunately. Amazingly, I still have rosemary and a bit of mint and green onion. I had a bamboo plant that was the living legacy from a coworker that passed on in 2004, but that died pretty quickly. I told them I didn’t want it. I have a small piece of bamboo that’s been growing in a water glass for nearly a year; I might plant it in the same pot, or maybe in the ground.  I’d like to get it out of my kitchen, that’s for sure.

One thing I learned from reading Urban Farm magazine and the forums on their companion website is that if you cut off the rooted bottoms of green onions you get from the grocery, you can plant those roots and keep growing them. I bought these at Frohberg’s Farm maybe 3 years ago, and they’re still growing. They’ve gotten a bit skint because I’ve not been faithful in watering them, but I’ve still got some. I’ll have a full pot again soon. Ditto the mint.

Amazingly, the weeds are thriving, even with the little bits of rainfall we’ve had, or rather, NOT had. We’re still kind of in drought conditions here, but I’m hoping for a good rainy season this summer.

I got started growing stuff with the last, um, “relationship” I was in with Blob, since we had plans of eventual country living and food growing. (I still read Hobby Farms and Hobby Farm Home magazines.) I started with the paint buckets and basil. In 2011, I planted things like zucchini and cantaloupe in the ground, along with lettuce and a few other things. Unfortunately, we also had a bad drought that year, and despite my best watering efforts, nothing lasted. I put a small zucchini plant in the ground and it took off, eventually taking up half the plot along with cantaloupe. Then one day, it started to shrivel up. . .and then, no amount of watering would bring it back. There was nothing I could do.

I tried re-growing flat-leaf Italian parsley recently, but nothing sprouted. I’ll try to get me some basil planted soon (preferably organic), and start making some pesto. The sooner I get some basil, the sooner I can whip some up. I LOVE pesto! My favorite recipes is from Giada de Laurentiis’ first book, Everyday Italian, but there are oodles of recipes out there for pesto. Suzanne Somers also has a very tasty recipe for Parsley Pesto in her Appetizers book, which calls for some parsley but a fair amount of basil.

I have one container of pesto left in the freezer from last year. I MUST make more of it this year and freeze lots of it for the winter, darnit.

Of course, my favorite thing to do with that pesto is make Pea Pesto Soup. Had some just this week, with some pesto from the freezer. Admittedly, I can buy fresh pesto already made, but why?

I have hoped to grow sugar snap peas, but I never seem to get around to planting them.  Down here in Texas, you have to plant them in like November, because otherwise it’s way too hot. Garlic, too–you buy the bulbs in August, and they have to “over-winter” and you are rewarded in the spring with lovely garden fresh garlic.

I want to grow grape tomatoes. I LOVE grape tomatoes, and those yellow pear-shaped tomatoes, but they’re quite expensive at the grocery store. I planted some in the ground and some in one of those hanging tomato thingies, no luck. Fennel, too–I tried growing that to no avail, along with regular onions and a few other things. No luck.

Soon as I finish a few other things, I’ll be getting out there, probably Sunday, so I can get stuff growing. I admit I’m not the *best* gardener, but eventually, I hope to be picking lots of good stuff from my garden.

One of these days. Tips and comments are welcome, of course. Are you doing the garden this year? If so, what do you want to harvest?

Happy Dining!

Considered opinions,Fresh from the Garden,Ingredients
The Twinkies are coming! The Twinkies are coming!!
March 12, 2013 Amy

Good evening, dear readers:

My apologies for the lack of posts; I’ve been busy. In fact, so busy that I’ve not been able to finish reading my daily Wall Street Journal. I was doing some clicking tonight and discovered two articles on our beloved American snack cakes, Twinkies.

Yes, I’m talking about the return of your Twinkies. From WSJ.com:

Hostess Brands confirmed this afternoon that it has agreed to sell its snack cake business, including that legendary cream-filled yellow cake, to private equity group Apollo Global Management and Metropoulos & Co. The duo will pay $410 million for the brands, five bakeries and some equipment in a deal that now requires a judge’s signature.

Yes, indeed–and we may have them back as soon as this summer.  Now, I really want one.

Are you excited yet? I thought I was excited after I got my printer to start working properly again this afternoon. Woo hoo!! I can’t wait to walk into a convenience store and find them so I can try one for the first time since the 1970s!

Hostess Brands has sold not only Twinkies, but also Ho Hos, Ding Dongs and Donettes. (No word on Ziggy yet.) Still not sold are Drake’s cakes, brands Sweetheart, Eddy’s, Standish Farms and Grandma Emilie’s; “stalking horse bids” are being entertained by Hostess for those. Next week’s bankruptcy hearing will request a judge’s approval on the sale of Wonder Bread and other breads to Flowers Foods for $360 million and Grupo Bimbo’s $31.9 million offer for Beefsteak assets.

Is this a great country, or what? Only in America, folks!!

One writer opined about how to sell Twinkies again with more health-conscious Americans reading labels, after the new owner hinted that they might consider updated versions of the chemically laden treats:

That means you could—we repeat, could—one day see low-fat Twinkies. Or whole-wheat Twinkies. Or low-carb Twinkies. Or organic Twinkies.

Sorry. . .what? No, with the legalization of cannabis in a couple of states, anyone with the munchies is just NOT going to care about low-fat, low-carb, whole wheat or “organic Twinkies.” Give me a break.

While I’ve never touched cannabis, I have, on occasion, had a sudden need for something sweet, fast and handy (even if it made me god-awful sick later.) Call it what you like, but in that condition, cannabis or no, a true Twinkies aficionado is going to want the real thing–sugar, flour, cream and all–without a shred of concern for nutritional value.

And, think about it, that’s likely WHY it was such a short time between Hostess’ shutdown and the sale. They KNOW there’s going to be a lot of people in certain states with legally  loopy citizens wandering around with the munchies looking for Twinkies, and NOW.

Makes me wish I could have bought it. Or at least a distributorship in each of those states.

Yes, we have war, poverty, strife, a dismal economy, and a thousand other ills. But in America, the greatest country in the world, we’re going to have Twinkies again.

What a country.

Happy Dining!

Considered opinions
Wheat Belly Biscuits with Puns
March 6, 2013 Amy

Hello, Dear Readers:

I’m sorry–I’m stuck in a rut and I can’t stop PUNNING. Please forgive me. I’ll try to do better in the next post.

Well, as promised, I’m here to report on my first recipe from the Wheat Belly Cookbook by Dr. William Davis. No, I haven’t finished reading either one, but since this is primarily a FOOD blog, I thought y’all might be interested to know about this tasty morsel.

Get it? Tasty Morsel!

I did a pun. Or is that a groaner? Well, anyway. . . .

The reason I really wanted that cookbook was simple: while sitting at the conference a couple of weeks ago, I asked one of my table mates if I could look at it. Nice people being what they are, she obliged. Everything looked really good (even the ones without pictures) and I just , um, ate it up. (Punned again!)  Having done the low-carb thing for many years, I get the idea of living without wheat; but this book offers new recipes that are interesting and give more options than the meat-and-veg variety.

The Basic Biscuit (Wheat Belly Cookbook, page 245) recipe is what made me buy it. Seriously. Biscuits, wheat free, and you can make breakfast biscuits with them just like, well, McDonald’s! (There is also a sweet variation.) I was intrigued, and this morning, I had one. Sorta. I actually MADE the biscuits this morning, finally, and when they came out of the oven, I had three, one by one, hot, with butter and salt. They are SO good.

I have to point out that they do not taste like wheat (or canned) biscuits, nor are they “light and fluffy,” since there’s no wheat or gluten in them. They are delicious, chewy and substantial without being too heavy. Remember, it’s turning one type of ingredients into something completely different (or as a lawyer would say, into something for which it was not originally intended.)

So what’s the story? OK, the ingredients are:

1 cup fine-ground almond flour/meal

1 cup ground golden flax seeds

4 teaspoons baking powder

4 tablespoons butter, cut into small squares (diced)

4 egg whites

OPTION: 1/4 cup grated Swiss Cheese (book suggestion, I just had some grated Swiss in the freezer at the time)

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper, and heat the oven to 350F.

Mix the almond flour, ground flax seeds and baking powder. Cut the butter in with a pastry cutter until combined.

In a medium bowl, beat the egg whites on high until soft peaks from. Gently fold the egg whites into the flour/butter mixture until well combined.

Spoon the dough int 8 rounds onto the baking sheet. Flatten to approximately 3/4″ thickness. Bake for 15 minutes, until golden brown.

Yeah, baby. Take a look:

WheatFreeBiscuit

Looks pretty much like any other biscuit, doesn’t it? (Plain looking sitting on my handmade potholder.)  I put them in a fridge storage container while they were still a bit warm. Know what? They didn’t get soft and mushy. I’ve had that happen with other wheat-free recipes, and I guess it’s the golden flaxseed that did it. No complaints.

I split up the mixture into 8 parts by pushing the mixture gently into the bottom of the bowl, dividing it four ways (much like Rachael Ray does with ground meat) scooping out a quarter, then dividing that in half. This “dough” works easy; just don’t manhandle it too much.  I bought a round cookie cutter today to try making them rounded easier, as well as cooking my eggs in a circle to fit onto the biscuit. Neat, huh?

I promise, I was GONNA make an egg/sausage sandwich out of it. I really was. I tasted one, and it was all over at that point. I ate a second, and a third. Then I finally quit. They are that good.

However. . .

I use unsalted butter all the time (as one should when baking) but I found that the finished biscuit needed a bit of salt. So after the butter melted, I sprinkled a bit of kosher salt on it. Because EVERYTHING I eat now needs some salt on it, darnit.

WAY. TOO. GOOD.

Next for breakfast will be on page 164, the Good Morning Souffle that I can make and eat all week long. I definitely want to try the Raspberry Chocolate Cheesecake on page 256 one day. Trust me when I tell you I will not be sharing any of that one, either. Now look–I told you about this. I will knock over Michael Jordan, Shaquille O’Neal AND Magic Johnson–at the same time–for anything combining chocolate and raspberries in one place. So make your own if you wanna try it.

Now the back story: ground almond meal/flour is more expensive. Since wheat and wheat products have become relatively cheap because of modern agribusiness, healthier, non-GMO non-standard ingredients tend to be pricier. That’s the price you pay for trying to be healthy, or if it’s a child, keeping that child healthy and well, and not on drugs that can make them sick with something else. We don’t want that. Generally, diet is cheaper to change than drug therapy, anyway.

My dad used to field comments from his spinster aunts when they would tut-tut about how much his kids ate by replying, “It’s cheaper than doctor bills.”  That was a long time ago, but it’s still very true. Healthy food is cheaper in the long run by the absence of illness produced by the unhealthy foods, as well as the subsequent treatments. If you don’t believe me, walk around your local Wal-Mart and observe. Healthy food is not always the most expensive; it takes learning more about what you’re buying before you shop.

I keep almond flour around for another favorite recipe that only uses a tablespoon of it. Recently I found it on sale at my local Target, and I bought extra. Over the holidays, my health food store was out of almond flour, so I got hazelnut, which was sitting right next to it. It was more, but it worked, and while I like both nuts, I can’t say one affects the taste all that much when used in the same manner.

Now, I’m by myself, so I don’t have to worry about other people complaining about the food (which is reason #9,753 of why I’m not married/attached anymore.) If I make something that’s not suitable for a royal luncheon, well, it’s my fault, I gotta eat it (unless it’s inedible.)  But if you have someone in your household who is allergic, this is important to know about, and how to work with. You need to know what they are allergic to so you don’t sicken them with something they shouldn’t have, and be able to feed them so that they don’t feel left out. Like the Babycakes books series, these recipes were designed for people who are either allergic to wheat or, like me, want to avoid it anyway without missing out on anything.

And in many cases, when entire families change their diet because of one member, the entire family benefits. Just an FYI.

And, BTW, wheat/gluten sensitivities, like its evil cousin, yeast overgrowth (Candida albicans) in the gut, can also cause behavioral issues and mood swings in both adults and kids. Not a joke. In the extremely sensitive, elimination of wheat can bring drastic results–but you don’t know that until you try it, particularly on children.

Remember, too, as I reported to you earlier–today’s wheat strains are NOT what they had in Biblical times, nor is it what your grandmothers and maiden aunts used to bake with. Today’s available “wheat” is the accumulated result of continual genetic modification for a) increased production, b) disease resistance, and c) saleability. Nobody bothered to check to see if consumption was harmful, and now, nobody will admit to it.

Anyway. . . .

You gotta admit, these people have worked hard on wheat-free, and have done a stellar job in their own way–Dr. Davis being the medical side, and Erin McKinney on the “end user” side. That’s what America is all about, believe it or not. Some people still like to do something new, something different, something great for their fellow man.

And as a grateful, hungry nation, we eat it up.

I did it again! Get it? We eat it up!! I’m on a roll today.

Oh NO! On a roll! But I haven’t baked any yet. . . .

Enough with the puns! This is good food for you and yours, and nobody has to miss out on much just because they’re allergic to wheat/gluten. You can, literally, have your cake and eat it too.

Help! I can’t stop the puns!!

I’ve got work to do folks, so off I go. Try something new this week, whether it’s a locally-made wine, or new fruit at your local Farmer’s Market, something wheat-free, something more natural, or just something you’ve seen but never considered trying before (like my favorite treat, Larabars.) You might find a new favorite you’ve been missing out on.

Happy Dining!

Considered opinions,Cookbooks,Health & Wellness,Ingredients ,
Gadgets
March 3, 2013 Amy

Hello, Dear Readers:

If you’ve been wondering, well, yes, I have been sick. Sick enough to fall asleep through a class Thursday. GRRRR. . .thank heavens for recordings. It’s cold, but beautiful outside, and I’m sick. I’ve got fever, a bronchial infection, an EAR infection, and prescriptions. First time I’ve taken a pharmaceutical drug in nearly 3 years.

I am coughing like a smoker. I have never smoked.

I slept a quite a bit yesterday and decided to do a little sewing last night. Made a potholder that, well, wasn’t exactly to spec. It’s because I’ve taken to making my own bias tape, and when I make it, I like it a lot wider than the book says to make it. but that’s just me. What’s wrong with double wide bias tape? Used up a little bit more fabric and gave me an idea of what it will look like if I ever make one or two for a gift. Trust me when I tell you NOBODY has one exactly like mine.

I like it that way.

It started Wednesday with a wicked sore throat that made it hard to eat, drink or breathe much, and then I got tired. Got lost trying to go somewhere, and when I got home, I knew I was infected. I started using Peaceful Mountain Throat Rescue on Wednesday, and Thursday afternoon I woke up from one of my naps to have no more sore throat. (It’s also available from Amazon.com in a two-pack.) A medicine cabinet essential.

But while the sore throat is gone, thank heavens, now I just have the standard cold symptoms–sneezing, stuffy nose, and going through a LOT Of tissue. I also have pain when I cough, that being the bronchial infection (which moved into my ears–first time that’s ever happened.) My hands are seriously dried out from washing them so much. Don’t forget the headache from all that sneezing and blowing, and now my hearing is affected–feels like my ears need to pop, but can’t, because of the ear infection. Plus there’s the the general fatigue that comes along with it (your adrenals take a hit when something like this happens.) Turns out that SIX women I know who are all connected to me on Facebook are also ill. Therefore, we conclude that Facebook is spreading the germs.

Don’t get too close.

So while I was watching TV and stitching up my new potholder, I saw an advert for a newly invented kitchen gadget that helps you make “perfect” pies. No kidding. the most bizarre thing ever, called the EZ Pocket. I kid you not. You lay the dough out, fill the pockets with the filling you want, put the top crust on, use the little rotary thingy to slice the pie crust according to the grid, bake it off, and you have “perfect” little pies in perfect little shaped portions. You can even make six different fillings at once (long as you can tell the difference later for the fussy child who *only* wants cherry.)

I give the inventor credit for making something new, of course, but. . .WHAT? Of course, if you watch the infomercial, you’ll see a woman botching and bungling a pie crust so bad it would make Martha Stewart sick. Pie crust ain’t that hard if it’s made correctly!! With a food processor, you can’t mess it up. Watch a YouTube Video on how to do piecrust. But with the EZ Pocket, you use STORE BOUGHT PIE CRUSTS. Ugh. What a way to make healthy food for your family. And you can bet anyone who does that thinks it’s perfectly healthy.

It’s not. Yuck.

If EZ Pockets is just your thing, great–but please, learn to make your OWN pie crusts. Read the myriad ingredients in pre-made pie crusts and you’ll see what I mean. Do it in the food processor–it couldn’t be simpler. I started doing that with the Barefoot Contessa books. You can find Ina’s Perfect Pie Crust here; quick and easy, and will work with these silly looking contraptions.

You can find all manner of cooking inventions on As Seen On TV’s website. (Ronco Veg-A-Matic, anyone? Yes, they still make those.)  If you’re a foodie, be careful, and hang onto your Visa Card!

Well, anyway. . .it got me thinking about other kitchen gadgets. While I try not to do this, I do have a number of kitchen gadgets, bought over the years, likely on sale. Some have been better successes than others.

While I haven’t tried this one, I almost did. The Xpress Redi Set Go just looked like a great thing for a single woman to have. When I saw it, I had a boyfriend, and thought it would be great for cooking for just us when he came over, or even at his house. It came with recipes and instructions, and if you watched the long infomercial, it was the greatest thing since sliced bread. I was ready to go get me one. . . .then I got on Amazon.com and discovered via the comments that it wasn’t as fabulous as all that.

Saved from a bad buy. This time.

Another time I bought the infamous Eggstractor. If you’re not familiar with this one, it came out at the apex of the low-carb thing in about 2003 or 2004. It’s a little thing to help you peel large quantities of hard-boiled eggs. There’s a trick to hard-boiled eggs, but never mind. I thought this would be a great thing to have, but. . .well, it didn’t work out too well. You have to smash the top real hard, and between me and the man of the house, it didn’t really do the job well. I returned it about a week later.

When I told my brother about this, he was curious. Then I sent him the link, where the infomercial was running. He couldn’t stop laughing and never lets me forget The Eggstractor. To this day. Out of the blue, he asks about The Eggstractor.

I have seen those little Eggies, where you crack the eggs into a plastic boiler, then remove them when done. I have not bought those. On the other hand, maybe it would be a good idea. . .I think there’s another version that makes them square, but I won’t swear to it.

Now, some friends of mine have the Nu Wave Induction Oven, and have used it, but I don’t know that they are completely thrilled with it. I recently saw the Nu Wave Induction Cooktop, and of course it looks like the best new thing, but. . .I’ll wait a while on this one, too. Turns out induction cooktops have been around for some time. Makes me wish I’d bought one by now; I just don’t need all those extra pans.

When I got married (in 1996, the last time) one of the things I put on my registry was the Braun Open Master. So cool, so contemporary, and safely opens cans. My grandmother bought it for me, and I loved it. I still have it and use it, but at some point, cans were re-designed, so it only works on about 50% of the cans now. Braun, of course, doesn’t make them anymore, but it was a great product.

Another favorite is the Braun Multi Mix. Braun doesn’t make these anymore, either, but I still have mine. Actually, I have more than one, sort of. I have, unfortunately, used the heck out of mine, and have replaced it, so I have a second set of accessories. Okay, actually, I’m on my third (and obviously last) one. Hope I can buy a suitable replacement one day, or I’m just going to be buying multiple items. The mixers work great, but do one thing wrong and it doesn’t work right anymore.

I really USE my gadgets.

The former husband believed himself to be of a certain sophistication, and insisted we have an espresso/cappuccino machine. Well, I don’t have the husband anymore, but I still have one; it’s about ten years old. Once in a while, I actually use it. See, I don’t keep cow’s milk around, I have almond milk. I don’t know if it will froth, so I don’t use it very often.

Many years ago, I was also given a black KitchenAid stand mixer, just like the ones you see on The Food Network. It was secondhand, but works perfectly, so who cares?  I was saving up to buy the copper model, but this one is just perfect.

I have two food processors–one from Wal-Mart, bought when the one I had prior gave out the day before Thanksgiving, and a smaller one that came with the Cuisinart Deluxe Duet blender, bought with a coupon at Bed, Bath and Beyond. The one I bought in like 1991 or so finally croaked.

The Toaster Oven. Now, I always thought this was a bit more than I needed, then someone gave me one and I was hooked. I took to roasting chicken leg quarters in mine, and it didn’t heat up the kitchen. YES! I’m on my third; this one came with a convection setting, so I use that occasionally too. I can bake all manner of stuff, cook dinner in it in the middle of summer and it’s great. If you have the room, get one. I have the Cuisinart Convection Toaster Oven, again, bought with a coupon at BBB a few years ago. I didn’t want the convection part, but that’s the one they had when I went to buy it. If you have the room, I can highly recommend having one around. This one has an even-heat sensor, a timer, and lots of bells & whistles. You may want one not quite as pricey, but if you like to cook, it’s certainly worth having to bake/cook/roast smaller items, especially in the summer.

I really love ice cream, and although I don’t get to use it regularly, I do have this wonderful Cuisinart Ice Cream Maker. I had a couple of gift cards a couple of years ago from Macy’s and decided to splurge on this baby. The old one I had used ice and salt and all that; this just has a bowl you stick in the freezer. And since I have a small freezer, well, you see why I don’t get around to using it as much as I’d like. However, I’ve also made gelatos and fruit sorbets with it, adding Somersweet instead of sugar. Cuisinart also has a more expensive model that has it’s own self-contained compressor so you don’t have to freeze the bowl, you just plug it in. Well, they don’t sell those at Macy’s, or maybe they didn’t when I went to buy mine. Next one I get will be that one, you just plug it into the wall and go for it.

For the best ice cream recipes, I highly recommend Bruce Weinstein’s Ultimate Ice Cream Book. Canteloupe sorbet? Yes, it’s fabulous, and it’s nothing like store bought.

A few years ago I was asked to make an apple dessert for a party. Well, I had to peel a lot of apples for it. I mentioned it to a gent I worked with, and he offered to loan me his apple peeler/corer. He went on vacation for two weeks, and um, I broke it. I didn’t know how to contact him, so I went online and bought an identical item. THEN, seeing as they were not expensive I bought one for myself! I’ve used it once or twice since then, but haven’t done a lot of baking lately.

Then there’s the grill thing. That same brother bought it for me, a knockoff of the George Foreman Grill, and while I’ve used it a few times, it’s very hard to clean. So it collects dust. Likely to go out one day. . .

For Thanksgiving, and other rare occasions that I think about it, I have one of those big turkey roasters. Really, it’s great for roasting two chickens at once, and this one has take-out dishes for things like stuffing and veggies that you can leave in and keep warm. I keep it around. . . .

When I got married in 1981 (the first time), someone gave us a waffle iron/griddle that was just wonderful, similar to this model (but not so god-awful expensive.) I don’t know what happened to it, but in a divorce, I think you can figure it out. . .I used to have another one, but when I quit doing grains, I gave it away. Then I got ahold of the second Babycakes book, and suddenly I needed a waffle iron! (The gluten-free waffles in this book are fantastic, and real maple extract for the syrup is worth hunting down.) I now have a $10 waffle item from HEB. What I’d like to eventually get is Cuisinart’s Griddler, even though the waffle plates are sold separately. Admittedly, it will be quite some time before I get mine, even if I go to BBB with a coupon.

Several years ago I re-discovered the French Press coffee pot. I was at work one evening when one of the ISS people put some hot water in it. I used to know someone who used it, but that was a long time ago. Had no idea what I was missing., and now I own five. I got a small one and put decaf Eight O’Clock Coffee in it, and was amazed at how great it tasted. No more Mr. Coffee for me–and, it’s ecologically friendly, since the filters are metal. The one I use most regularly is this 4-cup French Press from Bodum, so I keep a spare glass around since I’ve had one break. I also have the 3-cup Chambord that stayed at my desk so I could have decaf in a non-decaf office, a 3-cup Brazil model for travel, an 8-cup Bodum Shin Bistro (for when I used to have a boyfriend to make coffee for) and this 8-cup model from Cost Plus World Market that I left at his house for the weekends I was there. (He brought it back but kept my coffee cup. No great loss.) I made cozies for both 8-cup pots to keep the coffee warm, as well as the 4-cup pot. Maybe I should sell one or two of them soon.

Now, many kitchens have a teapot on top the stove, and admittedly, I had one too–but then you had to turn on the STOVE to heat it up. This baby from Hamilton Beach solves that problem, and boils water faster than Superman can by looking at it. Boils and then cuts off, and cuts off if you pick it up off the heating element. Clean it once or twice a week by filling it halfway with water, halfway with plain white vinegar, boil, and let it sit for an hour or more to clean. Rinse it real good, and you’re ready to go. I love this kettle.

One more gadget–my electric indoor grill. Also a wedding present in 1996, it’s ceramic base tends to crack, and you can’t adjust the temp, but it works great for grilling. There is a heating element in it that’s similar to one on the stove, but bigger. And you just clean it and put it away. I have it on my big shelf. . .and when I think about it, I dust it off and use it. But I forget about it most days.

I love my kitchen stuff. In a small condo. Nevermind the books.

Well, that’s it for tonight. I’ve got to concentrate on healing and getting rid of whatever bug I managed to pick up this week. I’ll be missing a religious activity tomorrow, because I just don’t want to make babies, children and elderly Japanese ladies sick. Hopefully I’ll be writing another post soon.

Happy cooking!

Considered opinions,Tools of the Trade

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