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Quinoa–the sequel

Well, dear readers, once again, life gets the better of me, and I don’t quite get around to writing on this blog the way I’d like to. But here I am, and I’m looking for new topics regularly.

I’m back on the dieting thing, and have lost about 7 pounds so far. Ignoring sandwiches and a weird looking chocolate cake at the office this week helped. Well, it was not only chocolate cake, but had white icing and filling, as well as either mocha or milk chocolate filling in the center, too. Weird, and when it was cut open, the first words I thought of were “hot mess.” If you’ve ever seen a woman with way too much eye makeup on, you get the idea of what this cake looked like, despite its designer exterior. I didn’t even bother to take a picture. It was really easy to pass up, even for a chocolate lover like me. I wasn’t hungry enough to eat white bread either, so the whole lot sat right by my desk and I didn’t even look at it except in passing.

Seven pounds down, nine-hundred and twelve to go. Just kidding, it’s not that much. Just feels like it.

I also received part of an order today from Territorial Seed Company in Cottage Grove, Oregon. Two packets of what they call “City Lettuce,” some sage and Italian flat-leave parsley. The garlic bulbs will be shipped in a couple of weeks. Let’s see if I can get this stuff going again. The sage dried up earlier this year, and the parsley I had growing never really took off.

Neighbor K gave me 4 big white buckets that came from a restaurant, and they never returned to her office to retrieve them. One of them smells like garlic, so. . .guess what’s going in it? I’ll keep you posted.

Some time ago I wrote about one of my favorite foods, quinoa. It’s now called a “superfood,” although I’m not sure why. I’ve been buying it for 15 years. Sure it’s nutritious, but I just like it because it’s tasty. I’ve made it for a few people, including my two beloved neighbors K and R, who have been occasional taste-testers of new recipes (or the occasional excess), but mostly I make it for myself.  Two of the recipes in Giada de Laurentiis’ book Weeknights With Giada include quinoa, and both are pretty tasty. (R is the elderly neighbor lady who has also been the recipient of extra cupcakes from the office.)

I made a small amount of quinoa on Saturday, and it put me to sleep for an hour. So it does have enough carbohydrate to do that. That’s why I don’t eat it too often, and not as much of it, mostly as a side dish, always with other stuff.

I’ve discovered, though, that not everyone is as enthusiastic about quinoa as I am.  Granted, not everyone likes everything. Much as I think chocolate is the food of the gods, one of my grandmothers did not like chocolate, as did a project manager I used to work with at Boeing. In fact, when it was birthday cake time, you knew who brought the cake if it was either half chocolate/half vanilla, all vanilla, or something like Italian Cream Cake (which made me taste test it more than once, because it was that good.)

So, in my favorite newspaper, The Wall Street Journal, comes this article on the backlash from quinoa’s new popularity. See, it’s trendy and popular now, much like gluten free, (plus it IS gluten free) so there are folks have become somewhat anti-quinoa from the influx of new quinoa dishes. To me, this is like being anti-tea or anti-cupcake, so I think that many of these folks haven’t had quinoa prepared correctly. That’s just my guess, as well as someone who wrote a letter to the editor on the subject.  (Please, someone tell me what the heck “Quinoa Gelato” is.)  But I also know it’s a matter of taste, what one person likes, and the preparation at the same time.

No, gluten-free is not a fad--especially not if you have a problem with wheat.

The article also references a fun Bud Light commercial. A man, standing over his grill, is ready to start some heavy duty tailgating at a football game when he discovers that his lovely wife has packed. . .veggie burgers made from “queen-ah”. Personally, my foodie brain wants to know how the heck you make burgers with it, but I’m sure it’s stuck together with a glue like eggs or something. (Then again, I’m always trying to figure out that kind of thing.)  But he puts it on the grill anyway, despite it tasting like a “dirty old tree branch,” because his team won the last time he “accidentally” ate it. (Warning: the comments on YouTube underneath aren’t all polite. Read at your own risk.)

Lesson learned here is simple. Ladies—unless you *know* your man is a devoted vegan/vegetarian and enjoys quinoa, he wants MEAT, and he hates surprises. Don’t do that. Trust me on that one. I once brought home a six-pack of designer beer for a certain ex-boyfriend after he said, “surprise me.” He never said that again, and never trusted me with his beer.

Now, the original article is a good overview, but the comments are hilarious. All 127 of them, at this writing. OK, I get it, people get started on something and overboard with it, with soy being a good example. (I still hate soy.) I see drinks, foods and other stuff with something called acai berries, and I still don’t have any idea what they are. Will they grow in the backyard? Then there’s something called goji berries, and the gallons of juice sold by direct marketing (i.e., a neighbor down the street who’s “got a great new home business that’s gonna make me rich.”) I have tried neither of these items, but I’m told goji juice tastes like something rancid. But people who follow all the “healthy trends” consume it because it’s supposed to be “healthy.” Mold is *so* good for you. . . .

So back to the quinoa article comments. If you really need a funny, click on the link above and start reading, and read the oldest first. You’ll see comments like:

My introduction to quinoa occurred while living in the Andes of southern Peru in the 1960s. My dog loved it; I did not. Ever since, I’ve thought of quinoa as Andean kibble.

YUCK! P’TOOEY!

My wife is into all this superfood lunacy. She fed me a “kale smoothie” last week that tasted like it was scooped from the bottom of a swamp. To hell with kale, and I hope she never finds out about quinoa.

This is my award-winning quinoa recipe: add it to a mash and feed it to a pig. Take the pig to a butcher and have him smoke the whole thing. Mmmm …. good eating.

@Charleen: I’m feeding my cows organic quinoa and getting the best quinoa cheese…well, I was until they went on strike for better work conditions…the union negotiators are meeting with management representatives in Aspen this week. I say, “Let Them Eat Cud.”

I hate cilantro too! Tastes like dish soap.

Quinoa is the “Hula Hoop” of food FADS.

Y’all fightin’ over quinoa? Jeezus.

And so much more quality writing that the Journal is known for.

So if you’re interested in trying it for yourself, here’s my favorite quinoa recipe from Suzanne Somers’ book Slim & Sexy Forever. This recipe is in the prior post on quinoa, but I’ll include it here, and add that I toss in a cube of chicken bullion to the water when it boils. REALLY good, honest.

Sauteed Herb Quinoa

1 cup dry quinoa

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

2 shallots, finely diced

1 clove garlic, minced

2 teaspoons finely chopped fresh flat-leave parsley

Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

Prepare the quinoa according to package directions (or see directions above.)

While the quinoa is cooking, place a saute pan over medium heat. Add the olive oil and shallots; saute for 2 minutes. Add the garlic and cook for 1 minute longer. Add the cooked quinoa and the parsley and stir to combine. Season with sea salt and pepper and serve immediately.

Just because I like it doesn’t mean anyone and everyone who reads this blog is going to suddenly be completely devoted to quinoa. Sure, there are more recipes for it, now, and that’s a good thing. If you decide to try it, hey—no saying you have to eat it again, right?

However, this blog is about the funny. Quinoa optional.

So if there’s anything funny in food, it’s these comments on the WSJ’s website. Go take a look and see what some other anti-quinoa folks are saying.

WARNING: don’t drink anything while you’re reading them, or you’ll be bringing your keyboard or laptop to your local repair shop to be cleaned.

Enjoy!

Beef–raising the bar

Good Evening, Dear Readers:

This blog post is dedicated to my friend BigJoel, who passed away last Sunday afternoon (9/8/2013) at the age of 89. He was a friend, a cheerleader, an ally and an all around nice man. I found another soul who loved and appreciated British comedy, while most folks watch whatever is on. He read every one of my humble blog posts here and enjoyed them, and I sent him video emails nearly every day for the last few years. I told him about the content of this post a few days before he passed, but unfortunately, he won’t get to read it.

BigJoel belonged to Mensa, an organization of people who make mistakes faster than everyone else. That’s what he told me. He also had a sly sense of humor. I always told him he ought to eat healthier and take some vitamins, but I think he didn’t take me too seriously. But at 89, well, maybe you don’t take anyone too seriously. BigJoel’s input and humor will be missed by a great swath of folks, including me.

When he visited Texas I tried very hard to make a delicious and Martha Stewart-esque dinner, complete with a healthy, delicious dessert. He was a sweetie, and enjoyed all of it. At least, I hope he did. I’d hoped to get him some gluten-free baked goods recently, but connections were missed, and it didn’t happen; they wouldn’t have lasted the shipment in the warm southern May weather we had. But I did send him some Larabars a couple of times, which he enjoyed. The first time, I had to shop all over town to get the variety I wanted to send; the second time, the company introduced the variety packs, so it was much easier then, and they were fresh from the factory, too.

This one’s for you, BigJoel, and I hope to get to cook for you when I see you again.

Now. . . .

I have long told people that I’m a cat. A Human Feline. When you’ve had the same cats for long periods of time, (in my case,19 years) your DNA is altered. You knew that, right?

OK, seriously–my blood type indicates that I should avoid grains and stick with protein, so my doctor tells me. So, see? CARNIVORE=CAT. That’s me. I love tigers, too–but not parked on my living room futon.

So the news comes a few weeks ago that something akin to “beef” was grown in a lab and pan-fried at a press conference in London a few weeks ago. Yes, they added (ugh) beet juice and saffron to make it look like the real thing. Grown from a beef muscle cell using gene-splicing and other freakish GMO procedures, it’s a start on a highly experimental method of growing beef without using cows. Vegetarians like the idea of not having to raise cows in order to make beef. (Vegetarian: old Indian word meaning “Bad Hunter.”) The “climate change” crowd believes it will feed the masses without excessive methane gas (read: cow farts) in the atmosphere. No, I don’t believe them, but they have some lobbying power, so people listen to them.

Ok, let’s get real.

At a cost of $334,450.60 for a single 4 ounce patty, or $1,337,802.4 per pound, this “vegetarian beef” muck is currently more expensive than organic grass-fed beef and Japanese Waygu beef, so most people aren’t going to shell out for it. The inconvenient truth is that it really does *not* taste like beef, chicken, or anything else you’re accustomed to eating, despite what they said at the press conference. There was a lot of money invested in this ridiculous experiment, so they had to say nice things about it. Of course, they had to doctor it up to make it taste similar to real beef, and nobody would admit it to what really it tasted like. In some media outlets, the taste was praised; in others, told for what it really was.

I get that it’s scientists using science to do new things that were not possible before, stretching their expertise and really using their skills. But couldn’t they use this technology for something more useful, like say, cancer treatment or preventing birth defects?

My professional gourmet blogger’s opinion: Yuck.

Listen, y’all, most folks are going to stick with what they get now, which in my case is the occasional packet of 4 patties from Target with a red markdown sticker on it. Wal-Mart has bags of frozen burger patties for a good price. Cows run wild in India; ship them over here and we’ll eat those cows, fight “climate change” and make the streets of Mumbai safe again. (Nevermind that the seasons come around quarterly.)

And just this week, word of a plant-based egg substitute. WHAT? Do we REALLY need this new thing? OK, admittedly, I have a friend who is highly allergic to eggs, so this would be great for him, since he could use mayo made from it. Maybe folks allergic to eggs like my friend can benefit from this creation. But in my everyday life? NO.

If you’re like me, the whole idea of lab-made food—like the GMO wheat before it—brings one word to mind. Say it with me, will you?

EEEEEEWWWWWW!!!

And that’s enough of that.

So, I bring that up, mostly to amuse, but also to point out the lengths that some people will go to make a point. I think there is more to it than just scientific advancement, but I won’t say anything beyond that. What I will say is:

EEEEEEWWWWWW!!!

Just say NO to lab grown beef, OK? Lab grown chicken and eggs, too. Heck, lab grown anything. How are these artificially created frankenfoods any different than chemical-filled processed foods like evaporated milk and Velveeta cheese?

REAL food rocks. Eat real food.

Speaking of real food, I recently discovered something new and tasty. (Well, it was new to me.). I was doing my usual Sunday errands and stopped in a place that, well, let’s just say it’s not a place one would normally stop for a quick nibble, but I found one. I was REALLY hungry, and after I finished in this establishment I was going to the SuperTarget across the parking lot. An iced decaf coffee at Starbucks and maybe a couple of Larabars and I would be fine, right?

Oh, no. I FOUND something. And it was delicious enough to write about.

Whilst waiting my turn, I noticed a box next to some candy. Epic Bars, they’re called. About the size of a candy bar, but completely different. They’re designed for outdoor activities, to toss in your bag with a couple of bottles of water and hold you over until you can get some lunch. Sound familiar? There have been many incarnations of “meal replacement bars” over the years, but most are sweet, and loaded with sugar and other toxic rubbish. Have you looked at a can of Ultra Slim Fast? (Yes, they still make that stuff.)

You MUST drink plenty of water with Epic Bars. Why? Keep reading.

The difference with Epic is that they are made with meat. Yes, MEAT. No kidding. But like Larabars, they do have some nuts, although not as many. The first time I went I found beef and turkey. The second time, all they had was turkey. No complaints outta me! Both are equally delicious, although I was told by one of the owners that everyone loves the beef bar. Really, they are both equally good, but I guess the guys want beef. (And every time I go back, all they have is turkey.) They also have bison, but keep reading.

The meat is dried, and similar to Larabars, they have nuts and some dried cranberries in them—but they are not sweet like a Larabar. The beef has a bit of chipotle in it, so there is also a slight touch of heat. I don’t like burning hot food myself, but this was just fine with me. Since it’s dried beef, the water makes it swell in your stomach, giving you a full feeling during a long stretch. That’s why you gotta drink the water.

When the man told me that, I didn’t believe him. I bit into the beef, and later went to Starbucks for the iced coffee. And you know what? I really didn’t think about food for a good 3 or 4 hours. I really wasn’t hungry at all. Cool, huh?

That made me think about dieters—would they work? It’s got me thinking, and I’ll let you know if I decide to try doing that.  Admittedly, I’ve bought more and keep them tucked into my lunch bag. See, if I get on the bus on an empty stomach, I get really nauseated. Houston Metro has some great buses, built a little like a Boeing 737, but the buses do not have a) lavatories and b) barf bags. So I gotta nibble something before I leave the office so I don’t test the sensibilities of my fellow commuters. Epic Bars have been fitting that bill for a couple of weeks now.

Epic comes in turkey, beef, and, um, bison. Yes, BISON. I think I’ve had bison once or twice, but not regularly. Epic Bars are made from vegetarian fed animals, are gluten free and, thank you, FREE OF SOY. They even come with a little freshness packet so they’re good longer term. If you see these, consider it:

Epic Bars--if you see one, treat yourself, but drink plenty of water!

Epic Bars–if you see one, treat yourself, but drink plenty of water!

They are about $3 each—not cheap like a candy bar, but healthier than what you can get at fast food, and fits in a pocket, purse or bag.

I also got three different explanations of what these bars are for from three different sellers when I was out and about on my recent Sunday adventure trip with my debit card.

The first place I found them is called The Arms Room, an upscale gun store and indoor shooting range in League City, Texas (a Houston suburb close to Galveston) with, ironically, a SuperTarget across the car park. Really, do you go in a place like that for a bite to eat? It was a lucky find, and that’s not listed on the Epic website, either. The second place was Snap Kitchen, where I stopped in and ended up getting some lunch. But they only had turkey and bison, so I headed to my third place, Whole Earth Provision Company, next to Trader Joe’s on South Shepherd.

The Arms Room guy said that they were for people who go out shooting and don’t want to stop for lunch or leave and go back out. Toss one in your backpack with a couple of bottles of water, and go. You’ll be good until you’re done, and you go home or go get a bite somewhere.  Can’t complain about the iced coffee with one, either—it really hit the spot.

The Snap Kitchen folks I talked to were horrified that I went into a place like The Arms Room, but hey—I’m over 21, I’ll shop where I like. They don’t sell the beef bars because “their customers don’t eat red meat.” Something like that. I’m sure there are at least a few tofu-scarfing folks that will down a burger or fried chicken if they’re far enough away from anyone who will recognize them, but I left that part unsaid.

The dude in Whole Earth Provision said that they were designed for outdoor sportsmen like campers and hikers who wanted something grain free and Paleo. He, too, was horrified that I bought some in The Arms Room. (I enjoyed that part twice.)

So, three different explanations for these bars, but they really are good, healthy and convenient. I’ve got one left.

You can find a place to buy these lovely items at their website, and you can buy them online if you can’t find them locally. And because they are made in Austin, TX, you know they are the best! (My opinion, of course.) The company also makes something called Thunderbird Energetica, the fruit-based kinds of energy bars that are gluten free but sweet. I’ve sampled them in my local HEB, and they’re good and sticky, but since it’s dried fruit, they’re higher in sugar, making them a little higher in calories (and diabetics need to pay attention to that part.)

One of my writer friends tells me that there is another company that makes much the same thing, called Tanka Bars. I’ve never seen them, but if I find some I’ll try them and report back to you on it.

So, if you’re in need of something to eat on the go, you’re in luck–healthy food is available, even for us carnivores, real food, in bar form.

BigJoel would have enjoyed one, too.

Good night, Dear Readers.

Cupcakes. Ceviche. Bell peppers.

Happy Sunday, Dear Readers:

I’ve got a lot to tell and not much time, so here goes.

I’m now done with this round of the yeast-free diet. Know what that means?

I can haz cheezburger. (Just no bread.) Woo hoo!! Love cheese.

I had to stop at Staples for an errand this afternoon, and the nice man who waited on me, Anthony, mentioned that he wanted to learn to cook. He’s a big dude from Trinidad-Tobago, and I asked him what he was doing stateside. He married an American woman, you see. “She kidnapped me.” Ah, he’s enjoying it. So of course when he told me he wanted to learn to cook, well, I sorta talked his ear off. But I just want to make sure he doesn’t burn an egg and give up, thinking he can never be in the kitchen. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Neither was anyone’s expertise.

Now onto the rest of the weekend.

So, after an off-kilter Friday at this company downtown, I got home, changed into a t-shirt and shorts, and was chowing down on my salad from a jar when an email came in. One of my folks from Boeing was retiring, and one of the invitees invited me to meet them at Cafe Adobe. Fifteen minutes later I was there, parking and laughing with everyone else. So glad to see my peeps, even if it was just a couple of hours. So what do you have when you’re not real hungry, in a Mexican restaurant and are gluten free? Check the appetizers and order ceviche:

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Yeah. And take a look–there’s cooked shrimp in there. You know why I like to order shrimp in a restaurant? Let me explain: my Mom used to go find people who caught shrimp and bought coolers full of them to freeze. Only, she wanted them peeled before they were frozen. . .guess who took off the heads, the feet and the shells with bare hands? ME. So now, I order shrimp in a restaurant for one reason.

They are shrimp I don’t have to mess with.

I had half and took the rest home to toss over some lettuce from the jar on Saturday. YEAH.

They also had a cake after dinner, and while I took home a piece, I brought it home for my neighbor, who’s a bit over 65 (OK, 75) and is a really nice lady. Just don’t cross her.

In the HeatCageKitchen garden, there is big news–the basil is growing again:

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Still, I bought a container of Butoni pesto today, because it was on sale, and stuck it in the freezer, just in case. But I think I’ll soon be harvesting for pesto. We had rain today, but no more is predicted for a while. So I’ll be watering a lot.

Also a fantastic discovery from one of the plants I bought last week. You remember the tomato plant I bought with three tomatoes already growing on it? Looks like I’ll be getting some bell peppers, too:

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Hot dawg! But I don’t remember if I got red, orange or yellow bells. DUH. Oh, well, it’ll be green until I find out what color it will be.

Well, I’ve been really wanting a cupcake, and of course, it has to be gluten free. Now, it would be easy if I lived in The Woodlands, because I could head right over to Frost Bakery and get me one. But no, I live on the other side of Houston, sort of on the other side of the tracks. Not a particularly bad part of Houston, just, not as nice as The Woodlands. I’ve called five bakeries down here, and nobody has gluten free. One said, “we’re working on it.” That does me no good NOW, but I’ll live, I guess. Darnit.

So with the news that three new cupcake shops are opening in the Houston Downtown Tunnel, HeatCageKitchen is on it, and went to investigate.

It’s what “journalists” call a “slow news day.” But at least I have some nice pictures.

First stop (before heading to the office, no less) is New Addictions, where they’ve been open since Tuesday (day after Memorial Day) and business has been very brisk. When I stopped by on Tuesday during my lunchtime walk, I got to talk to one of the owners, Mena Frazier. Nice lady, and I told her what I wanted to do (take pictures, and write about them.) When I went back Friday morning, she wasn’t there, but two of her very nice employees were, and told me more. The owners, Justin & Mena Frazier, also have a shop on the east side of Houston called Cupcakes & More, where they bake the goods for New Addictions.They are currently working on a gluten-free model, but are also  working to get to the point where they can have a separate kitchen to avoid cross-contamination of gluten. They realize that many folks would like a healthier option, and would like to provide the best offering they can.

If you’re not gluten free, however, you’ll be in heaven:

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Nirvana, right this way:

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And let’s not forget chocoholics like myself:

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They also have cake balls, if you’d like that instead:

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And cute little cupcake candles!

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Meet Ivy and Nicole, who were nice enough to tell me everything:

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I asked them what their most unusual flavor is, and I think Ivy said it was their PBJ combination. When I left and looked at their small card, I see one called Maple Bacon. I kid you not–and I think that would be my vote for most unusual. But hey–whatever floats your boat, right?

You can read about Cupcakes & More here and visit New Addictions Facebook page to see more. If you’re downtown, check out their shop for a nice little dessert you won’t soon forget.

Remember: cupcakes are ONE SERVING. Maybe one and a half if you get one with top hat icing.

At lunchtime, I headed over to Gigi’s Cupcakes, which was quite a hike (read: cardio), but I made it. I’d spoken to the owner a day or so before I took my camera, and he said that they only did gluten-free on Fridays. They use almond flour, and that’s more expensive (I know!) and so only Friday, and the cupcakes were more. How much more? Twenty five cents. I thought he meant they were like $17 each! But no, only a quarter more than their regular cupcakes. I made a promise to get there on Friday. I wanted one!

Gigi’s actually has Wedding Cake cupcakes. Yes, you can buy one. Supposed to taste like wedding cake. Long as there’s no groom that comes with it, I’m game.

So I take The Lunch Purse (a small bag you carry just your wallet, cell phone, etc. when you go to lunch in the Tunnel) and I head down there. WAY down there. Asked which one was gluten free today. “None.” Um, it’s Friday, why not?” The employee’s comment, with a straight face:

“I never took the time to order any gluten free.”

And I won’t take the time to go back and see if they did order any. From the comments on the Houston Chronicles’ website, I’m not missing anything. I mean, if you want customers, how about “I’m sorry, but we didn’t get any in today,” or, “I’m sorry, they weren’t available today?” Even “we ran out” would have been polite. It sounds like she didn’t care, so I don’t either.

I haven’t made it to the third cupcake shop yet. I’ll let you know when I do.

So, darnit, what am I gonna do? I want ONE CUPCAKE, GLUTEN FREE.

What I always do. I made them. Along with a breakfast quiche, some Yeast Free Brownies and some biscuits.

From the Wheat Belly Cookbook, I made the only cupcake recipe in there, with almond flour and a chocolate/cream cheese icing that is really stiff when it’s cold. Like the delicious biscuits, they have a heavy, chewy texture that satisfies but is likely not what you’re expecting. That’s OK. I’ll get more almond flour next trip to Trader Joe’s.

My dishwasher has finished, and I’m fading fast, so I need to get back in the kitchen and finish up so I can eventually go to bed and get some sleep. I’ve had an interesting weekend. I’m tired.

Happy Dining!

Making hay while the sun shines

Happy Sunday, Fellow Foodies!

I hope you didn’t think I abandoned any of you. No, I’m back in the world of employment, for a while, anyway, and have been having long days and obstacles. While I don’t want to bore anyone with details, I will say that it could end up meaning I may  be cooking in a new kitchen at some point. We’ll see. I have a lot to do, and cooking on Sunday has worked for me for the last couple of weeks.

I sewed yesterday, and completed two simple garments (one with several buttonholes) and yet another bag. Hey–you gotta be stylish downtown, OK? The Lunch Purse will be in my briefcase and be used on the occasions when I step out to lunch and need to be stylish but don’t need my whole purse, just my wallet and cell phone.

I made it into Trader Joe’s again last Sunday, except this was the store on S. Shepherd in Houston, not the one in the elegant Woodlands part of Houston. This store in town has a little less stock, I think, but the cashier told me that they do that to slowly introduce the brand into a new market. Kind of silly, since most people in that part of town know what Trader Joe’s is, just like they do in The Woodlands, since many people in Houston have either traveled to the west coast or moved from there. Since the TJ store in The Woodlands has been there longer, they have more stuff. Well, OK. they had those trimmed fennel bulbs, but I still didn’t get any.

I now work downtown and have access to the somewhat famous Houston Downtown Tunnel, and have been walking for 30 minutes every day down there. It’s basically several miles of food court as well as some shops, doctor’s offices and other services thrown in. Love it, and there are three Seattle’s Best Coffee shops down there. THREE!

My bud Eddie says that when he worked downtown he spent a lot of time down in the tunnel. I plan to explore the branches of the tunnel when I figure out how to get back to where I need to be. I also want to take trips on the free Greenlink bus, but that’s an after-work thing.

Seattle’s Best Coffee disappeared from the rest of Houston a couple of years ago when Borders closed up, except for a couple of freestanding stores inside the 610 loop and the tunnel. Note: it’s not safe to crack jokes to police officers in Seattle’s Best at 7:45 in the morning.

Now for the news: recent article in the esteemed Wall Street Journal discussed something that has become one of my favorites recently, hummus. Not just any hummus, but this recipe from Real Simple a few years ago, and I’ve been making it ever since. I think I’ve written about it before, but the difference is that I halve the amount of lemon juice, because what they suggest absolutely screams lemon. Yuck–kills the taste of the sesame and chickpeas. But no, this article discusses the, um, spreading in popularity of this staple of Middle Eastern countries.

Oh, I feel the puns coming. Look out. . . .

Hmmm. . .red pepper hummus, which has a big dollop of pureed red bell pepper right on top. They have snack sizes with pretzels, too, and differently flavored types, which aren’t exactly Middle Eastern, as pointed out in this second WSJ article, because slightly weird comedian Stephen Colbert complained about it. Remember that this is the same comedian who a) got a treadmill named after him that ended up on the International Space Station, and had astronaut Sunni Williams announce it on his show, and b) tried to get a Washington, DC toilet named after him.

BTW, chickpeas are also called garbanzo beans, a term I actually like better. Dunno why. So I’m going to quit using the former term and use the latter one. Garbanzo.

So because hummus is spreading in popularity, the Sabra company is looking to spread out their growing operations to get more garbanzos to make the hummus with, including contacting tobacco farmers. Cool! I’m not a fan of cigarettes, (I’ve never smoked) and it could help farmers make the switch if they want to (their choice, of course.)  One farmer didn’t know what they were and at 71, actually tasted garbanzos for the first time–and liked them. We’re on the right track.

Anyway, the focus of the article is the Sabra company which is gaining in popularity after handing out samples all over the US. I like that recipe I gave you, and will eat it with celery or in a small bowl with a spoon, but I thought I might check out Sabra in my weekly visit to the League City SuperTarget. Found it! Right with the fancy salad ingredients and fresh herbs. I pick up the container, and looked at what they used to make it.

First ingredient: soybean oil.

DAMMIT!!!

You wanna try it, you’re on your own. I do NOT DO SOYBEAN OIL.

Anyway. . .garbanzos are a bit of a pain to deal with dry, so I suggest buying the canned grocery store brand and rinsing them yourself in a colander, removing any loose skins you might find if you want to. Today I went to my local HEB and bought two more cans. I can’t put my hands on my grocery receipt, but I think they’re 69 cents a can; Target is about 82 cents for their Market Pantry brand.

The most expensive part of hummus is going to be the tahini, or sesame paste, which is available in most larger grocery stores in the international section, since it’s primarily a Middle Eastern staple. (It settles like natural peanut butter so be sure to stir it really well before you refrigerate it, or just empty it in to the bowl of your stand mixer and mix it really well and then store it. Ditto for natural peanut butter.) However, you don’t use very much at one time, the garbanzos are the bulk of the recipe, and hummus is a magnificent sesame flavoring that blends well.  Admittedly, I used to have a recipe for hummus made with peanut butter, but I think that was in a book I don’t have anymore. That’s OK. Unless you live on a ranch in the middle of Oklahoma, you can likely find it locally, somewhere. (And I’m sure the lovely Mrs. Drummond knows where to get it in Oklahoma, too.)

So what else have I been up to? Well. . .as I did last weekend, I cooked up a storm and will be re-running the dishwasher soon as I finish telling you, then ironing for the week. In addition to roasting some turkey thighs and two packts of thick pork chops that were on sale at SuperTarget today, I made a batch of my favorite Yeast Free Brownies and a gluten-free, yeast free breakfast quiche by literally throwing a few things together. Without cream or milk, I was somewhat limited in what I could use for a binder for the eggs, so I tried guar gum.

Don’t do it. Just made lumps and a messed-up texture. No, this week I threw in some almond milk, and it seems to be fine. So the basics were this: grease a pie pan with coconut oil, and toss in some of those ground golden flaxseeds to make a bit of a crust:

Crust

Last week I added some leftover cilantro and the end of some celery, and put some of this interesting sandwich spread in it:

Quiche ingredients

Someone gave me the sandwich spread in a holiday basket, and I didn’t know what the heck to do with it, so I used it last week. Olives, sun dried tomatoes, olive oil, and some other stuff. All natural, no sugar or chemical ingredients, and yes, gluten free. It doesn’t say that on the label, but if you read it, you see what’s in it, so yeah, it’s gluten free. I put it all together and it looked like this:

Assembled ingredients

Mixed up 10 eggs with the ill-advised guar gum, and baked it for, um, I don’t know how long. I just watched it and when it was done, took it out. That was it.

This week, I wanted to make it again, and went shopping. I got more eggs and stuff, and went looking for that Mezetta sandwich spread.

Now go find more.

I’ve seen this stuff for years and never paid any attention to it. Never did find it. After thinking about how to try and make this week’s similar, I got some sun-dried tomatoes in olive oil, a bag of frozen chopped broccoli and put that together. Gotta be good, right?

Sun dried tomatoes

Yes, I have one of those curvy knives like Nigella Lawson. And unlike Nigella Lawson, right after I took that picture, the cutting board slipped and four tomatoes went on the floor. AAAAHHH!!!! But I still had plenty.

This time I mixed a dozen eggs with some almond milk and a couple of shakes of Chipotle Tabasco in it. they’ve baked up a lot better than the ones with guar gum in them, so I’ll let you know how it came out later. Looks good:

Masterpiece!

Last week’s was pretty good, but it needed salt. Let’s see what this one tastes like.

No, the cat food is just on the stove for my convenience. It only goes into Jezebel’s food bowl, not mine. However, I once implied to my mother that I was eating cat food. . .”with crackers late at night, it’s pretty good!” She believed it for half a nanosecond.

It’s all about getting ready to head out the door by 6:56 to catch either the 6:55 or 7:03 am bus into downtown. This helps a lot. I’ll keep looking for good recipes that don’t involve milk or cream to blend with the eggs, too.

How about a peek inside the fridge of the Heatcagekitchen?

Le Fridge

No kidding, that’s seven sealed jars of lettuce I set up this evening, or two prepped heads of iceberg lettuce. I love it!! (And strawberries on sale at HEB, too.) I’m tellin’ ya, the salad-in-the-jar thing works like a charm. The Ball jars are about $2.50 at Cost Plus World Market, but you can get them anywhere. I’m loving my nightly salad, y’all, and done correctly, the lettuce really does stay fresh and crisp all week. You will not regret this, as long as you get all the air out the jars. (Check my previous post for instructions.)

And to complete your Sunday night, here’s a completely unrelated picture of a neighborhood kitty cat I caught a couple of pictures of this morning:

Kitty

“Hey. . .how yoo doin’?”

He was someone’s inside kitty, until someone moved away and left him and two brothers locked in a unit. When they were found, they were set loose and lived outside for a while. Two have been adopted, but this guy has been a freelancer, getting fed by a few folks and enjoying life on the lam. He’s not feral, but I can’t take him in, since I’ve got one step kitty and he needs fixin’. And shots. (And a bath!) Out of my range right now. We call him Jojo, but we don’t actually know what his name is. He’s friendly til you do something he doesn’t like. Otherwise he’s pretty happy.

Well, folks, the dishwasher has finished its first go round, and I need to empty, refill, and re-start it before I go iron something to wear to town tomorrow.

I’ll try to post again soon and not wait too long.

Happy Dining!

Verdict on Wheat Belly

Do you have a Wheat Belly?

Hello, Dear Readers:

Warning, this is a long one. But important. Go get a cuppa before you start reading, because there’s a lot to learn.

I’ve completed reading the eye-opening book Wheat Belly, and what I learned from reading it makes me say what I said the first time I mentioned the book in this blog after meeting Dr. William Davis in my earlier post on the subject:

STOP EATING ALL WHEAT IN ANY FORM, IMMEDIATELY AND FOREVER.

No kidding. It’s that toxic, even if you’re not sensitive to wheat or gluten. The “wheat belly” refers to what most people think of as a “beer belly;” a paunch that just won’t go away; but what if you don’t drink beer? Reading labels, as we all should be, will yield more places where you’d never think a wheat substance would subside (beer, too.) And if you or someone in your household has that problem with wheat and/or gluten, you’d probably already know all about it. If you don’t, go get this book and read it. Read the whole thing, now. (You can also get a Kindle version if you prefer.)

DISCLAIMER: I’m not a doctor, nurse, scientist, or medical professional. I’m a patient who reads and pays attention, and I blog about food and food-related subjects like this one. I am not suggesting anything I wouldn’t do myself, and not prescribing or pushing any drugs or agendas. And while we can’t all look like Hollywood movie stars, at least we can try our best to be healthy and well with the life we have. Thank you.

Now back to the editorial.

I quit eating bread, pasta, and all that more than 10 years ago after reading Suzanne Somers’ first books that discussed her Somersizing diet plan. Only on rare occasions would I have something with wheat, usually at a party, or something from Taco Bell or Taco Cabana. (Sorry. Mexican food is a weakness.) Hate to call Somersizing a “diet” because it’s more of a way of eating, but. . .the food was good, and it made sense after years of “low fat” and “low calorie” that ended up not doing much but leaving me starving–and didn’t keep the weight off. Once in a while, I’d have something, like at a restaurant, a party, or the occasional wedding. (You know I’m not missing wedding or birthday cake, right? Ditto for a really tasty looking cupcake.) But as a rule, I just didn’t have bread or pasta around anymore, and didn’t have it on a regular basis.

When I did the yeast-free diet, where you avoid anything that would turn to sugar and feed yeast in your system, the hardest thing was to give up dairy, but I did it, and am only now starting to eat cheese again. Not a lot, and not like I used to, but occasionally, like in the Wheat Belly Biscuits I made recently.

Of course, while reading these books and seeing milk, butter and cheese discussed in the book and used in the recipes, all I could think of was, “I can has cheez?” Oh, BOY!! I’ve started buying cheese and milk again, sometimes. Not gallons of milk, just quart bottles, or even a bit larger. Inexpensive chunks of cheddar, Colby and Swiss. (No Manchego yet.)

I will tell you that when you avoid high starch things like flour, or potato, and then have some, you get a strong reaction when you “try a little.” Last time I did was a couple of months ago. One of my neighbors, ironically, works for a large medical complex in the Houston area. Her department had a public outreach activity after work which involved food. She brought me some of it sometimes, not a lot, but them lemon bars were lip-smacking good. One lemon bar, or one little bite of cheesecake, no big deal. Even a couple of cookies were fine. Recently, she brought these little square chicken empanadas. OMG–they were perfectly baked squares of dough with a chicken and poblano mixture inside. They were SOOO GOOD! I think there were about 8 or 9. I had a couple when she brought them home, along with some of that incredible crab dip, but decided to save the rest for breakfast the next morning. Good idea, right? Well. . . .

I put them in the toaster oven, and when they were nice and toasty, I ate them, one by one. Then I sat down to do morning prayers. And after 20 minutes, I had to lay down and sleep. HAD TO. Could NOT stay awake. I slept for over 2 hours (probably close to 3) and kept having really weird dreams. Not only was I going to England with a weird guy I used to work with, and seeing myself go through the TSA line, (never in real life, OK?) I kept hearing my own voice behind me say, “You really need to get up now.” But I could. Not. Wake. Up.

There is no other explanation than the insulin spike from the white flour, which I normally avoid. I will avoid it the rest of my life. I was tired like I’d stayed out all night, when in fact, I hadn’t. Much as I appreciated the treats–which were very delicious, of course–eating them first thing in the morning was not a good idea.

This wasn’t the first time I’ve had such a thing happen. Back in the day when I started doing SugarBusters (along with everyone else in New Orleans), I’d been doing it about three months, and was married for about a year or so. We went to my parents’ for Thanksgiving, and my dear Grandmother brought something she called “Ambrosia.” I didn’t know what it was, but boy, did she insist that I eat some. Trust me, I didn’t need any, and I tried not to eat any. (Do YOU tell your Grandmother no? Me either. Eventually you give in.)  It was so good, I had seconds. (A small bowl, I promise.) On the way home, thank heavens I wasn’t driving–I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I threw the passenger seat back and was out like a light quickly, seriously upsetting the husband unit. I could barely walk up the stairs to our apartment–I was that wiped out, and I had no alcohol at all. I staggered to bed and slept for 3 or 4 hours. I was OK until I had that Ambrosia stuff. He was actually MAD at me for going to sleep like that, but honest, I really couldn’t help it. Later, I called my Grandmother and asked her what was in it. “Cool Whip, dried fruit. . .” in other words, it was just about pure sugar. Being off sugar for some time, then having that much of it was like taking a sleeping pill after the huge insulin hit.

Not doing that again.

I’ve occasionally embraced whole wheat since reading Suzanne Somers’ books, but not often, because of the high carb count. All flour-based food products like bread and pasta, as well as corn, potatoes, carrots, beets and others have a lot of carb in them, which breaks down to sugar in your blood stream, so I just don’t touch them (and, I hate beets anyway.) So when I first saw the book, I figured Dr. Davis was just talking about the high carb count, sugar/empty calories and all that.

Boy was I wrong. SO glad I finally read this book.

Dr. William Davis describes a legion of maladies that are directly tied to our modern genetically modified wheat–arthritis, diabetes, heart disease, acne, osteoporosis (modern medicine tells us it’s our estrogen or lack thereof) and even mental illnesses can result from GMO wheat. Not a joke–but most doctors won’t look for it, they’ll just medicate the symptoms. It’s not just celiac disease–and many people who have this sensitivity and other symptoms of it don’t always have celiac disease, either.

Yesterday, the deaths of three public figures were announced: former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, actress and original Mousketeer Annette Funicello, and socialite-turned-fashion designer Lilly Pulitzer. Now, most people assume that celebrities and “famous people” have access to the best healthcare in the world. That’s not necessarily true, they may just pay more. Now, I can’t answer for any of the deceased, (no cause of death was released for Mrs. Pulitzer), but any one of these ladies may very well have been helped by no longer eating wheat at some point before various maladies appeared. Annette Funicello would likely embrace the absence of wheat, since she lived in California, and she may have. The other two, maybe or maybe not–who knows, right? But the compounded health problems of many years come together at one point and manifest as one thing. In Mrs. Thatcher’s case, it was a stroke (and not the first one) was what ultimately got the Iron Lady. Annette Funicello had multiple sclerosis (MS) and died from complications–it develops over time, hence the possible wheat connection. It’s hard to pinpoint one specific cause, many so-called “chronic conditions” are a manifestation of many causes, like junk food, drinking too much and excess sugar eventually turns into Type 2 diabetes. That’s the obvious, but other conditions aren’t that way, like arthritis, which Dr. Davis discusses in depth.

In other words, after years of eating this science-project-gone-wild-thing they call “wheat,” the effects accumulate and do damage–sometimes permanent, like brain damage. It doesn’t come out of the air, there is a specific cause for something showing up at a certain point in the future. His patients who cut out wheat are surprised to see many seemingly unrelated conditions, like skin rashes, clear up when they stop wheat.

Wheat’s toxicity can do the same thing–one symptom over here, another trigger over there, and you find yourself in a health crisis that “comes on suddenly.” Could be a heart attack. Could be a stroke. I’m not presuming to know that much about these three women to say for sure. What I am saying is that after reading this book and assimilating the subject, many symptoms, problems and diseases can be cleared up or even avoided completely by the elimination and total absence of wheat and the so-called “whole grains.” No drugs or special equipment needed.

Yes, I know, we’re all going to die eventually.

But why live with chronic sickness when you don’t have to?

As I mentioned in my first post, this is not the same wheat from biblical times, or that our grandmothers and even mothers had. For the last 40 years or so, wheat has been tampered with, gene-spliced, and mutated into something that doesn’t even resemble natural (called “einkorn”) wheat on a cellular/molecular level. It’s not the same thing on any level, but it’s still referred to as “wheat.”

At this point, you’re probably wondering what you’re going to eat if wheat-based foods are cut out of your diet. (There are, in some people, actual withdrawal symptoms due to the opiate-like effect of this wheat.) Concentrate on what you can have rather than what you can’t, and focus on discovering new ways to have what you used to. You’re eating real food, and there are splurges involved. Dr. Davis and his wife obviously worked hard on these recipes, and the results are obvious when you try it, like the biscuit mentioned earlier.

You can eat some good stuff, it just takes a bit of an open mind and learning about it. But if you discover that you really are allergic to wheat, having “just a little” will teach you a lesson you’ll not soon forget. Ask anyone who *is* allergic. (No, luckily, I’m not.)

In the Wheat Belly cookbook, there is a flaxseed wrap on page 231 that you mix up in a few minutes and make in a pie plate in the microwave. I’ve only bought flaxseeds once, and that was for a sewing project! These pancake-like wraps are absolutely delicious, and I’ve made and eaten probably a dozen since last week. Pair them with the salmon salad on page 125, which uses CANNED salmon, (and homemade olive oil mayo), and you’ve got a great lunch, gluten free, and completely tasty. OMG. I could make a meal out of a couple of those. Who needs bread?

Ooh. . .I could turn that wrap batter into pancakes and make some Agave Maple Syrup from the second Babycakes book. . .OMG, brain’s firing on all cylinders. Holy Shish Kebab–look out!

Anyway. . . .

A couple of weeks ago, I found another related cookbook in Central Market–The Joy of Gluten-Free, Sugar-Free Baking by Peter Reinhart and Denene Wallace. It’s beautifully illustrated with some additional good recipes in it, and has some additional options for gluten-free living. (This too is available on Kindle.)

OK, I know, I shouldn’t have bought it. I splurged. (I promise not to do that again.) But take a look at that cake on the cover and you’ll see why I couldn’t leave it. Besides, it was 25% off the cover price in Central Market. (My tax refund came in, OK?)

One thing I was disappointed in is the recommendation of Splenda (sucralose), which is something I won’t touch. They also list Stevia Extract in the Raw, and New Roots Stevia; I’ll try those when I get to it and let you know how they work. (Dr. Davis uses Splenda as a condition of cutting out other stuff, but I still won’t buy it.)

I baked a loaf of what the authors call “Stout Bread” on page 38, which uses less expensive garbanzo bean flour instead of a nut flour. While the raw batter tasted kinda funky, the final bread was warm and delicious, and I need to make me another loaf because I have killed all 12 thick slices of it since the weekend. It stands up to toasting and butter, and you really feel like you’re eating Texas Toast, hence the name “stout.” There is no beer in it, just a really firm texture that makes it filling and delicious. (Hey. . .I wonder if I can make French toast with it? All the synapses are firing again!)

So what happens when you go out of your safe little kitchen? Lemme tell ya. . .yesterday, I was in downtown Houston and stopped in Starbucks on Smith Street, the Safe Haven With Food. I asked, and there was only one thing that was any kind of gluten/wheat-free. That was something called Two Moms In The Raw, a little 2 ounce bar called “Blueberry Granola” that cost more than I’d like to disclose here, but was indeed gluten free. It does have gluten free oats in it, and everything is organic. (Even Starbucks’ “protein plate” has a small cracker and honey-sweetened peanut butter.) This bar was not bad, but it is a bit on the high side. Sweet, but not overly so, and very, very crunchy. I was very early for my appointment, and just needed a quick bite before I went. You can read more at their their website.

This was my first adventure trying to be deliberately gluten free outside of my own regular cooking, but there are a number of ways to find gluten free recipes online, just pick yourself a website. Do a search on Martha Stewart’s website for a start, and find something. Foodnetwork.com will likely have some too, but. . .prowl around and find something. There are a number of sites that are devoted to gluten-free as well, just do a quick search and find one or two you like.

One warning that Dr. Davis makes repeatedly is that many products marked “gluten free” are not necessarily suitable–which is why reading labels is an essential part of taking care of yourself. (That’s true generally, but especially if you’re sensitive to soy like I am, or wheat like my friend BR is.) When wheat flour is removed, they have to replace it with something else, so it’s either cornstarch, rice starch, potato starch or tapioca starch–all of which will trigger that glucose-insulin response, causing you to gain weight (Page 72.)

Back when I did low-fat, I used to chow down on all those fat-free foods. Guess what? Didn’t help. When they take out the fat, they replace it with sugar, salt and other chemical additives that give it taste and something called “mouth feel.”  So while the fat was low, and maybe the calories were low, the carbohydrate impact made it worse than eating the “regular” food, if you can believe that. I’ve actually seen “unleaded” versions of stuff that had more calories than the “regular” ones.

And, if you go strictly by calories, you could theoretically eat candy bars all day and lose weight and be healthy. But, sorry, it doesn’t work that way. WAY more complicated.

This is an important subject for a lot of people, and that’s why I’ve been working on it sort of part-time to do a complete assessment. Needless to say, I’ve got no problem giving up wheat, since I really did it already. But if you’re suffering with chronic health conditions, and you’re on that “whole grain” thing, give it a try and see if something changes. I think Dr. Davis tells his patients 90 days. Really, it takes a little getting used to, but once you are used to it, no big deal.

But what have you got to lose? Illness? Excess weight? Allergies? Like I said, I’m not a doctor, but what would be the harm in trying it?

Besides–I want to keep my readers around to keep reading my long, rambling essays. This is my longest yet, but the topic is important, so I made sure I said enough.

Now go read this book and give up wheat, and find something healthy and delicious that you just can’t get enough of.

Happy Dining!

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