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Another trip to The Woodlands

Several weeks ago I went back to Woodlands Wellness for my annual blood testing. This time, as in years past, I had to fast–no food or anything besides water for 12 hours before the blood is drawn. What does this mean?

GAWD was I hungry. And I let them know about it! I hate them starving blood tests.

Woodlands Wellness’ office (including stationery and all that) is decorated in a peacock theme, with a beautiful teal blue and black color scheme. There are also pictures of peacocks in many places, including the exam rooms.

What do you see when you get that hungry with these peacocks all over the place? One word.

POULTRY.

The followup meeting was on 11/6 to check in with Dr. Davis, and I ‘fessed up about that comment, even though I told everyone, “Don’t tell her I said that!”

Just ’cause I could, I made a couple of things to bring to The Doctor, in keeping with the peacock theme:

Hold Anything and the Petite pucheg

The big round fabric bowl is called “Hold Anything” from a book called Pretty Little Presents. LOVE that book, I’ve made at least a dozen of those, I’m sure, and given away many of them. I have six hanging around here holding stuff, and I keep making more to give away. (Hint: projects like this use up fabric, turns it into something useful for someone, and keeps it out of landfills.) This one was special, because it *had* to have peacocks. Both came out great, and I was able to give Dr. Davis a nice useful present.

And look what I saw when I was leaving:

holding anything!

See? They really do hold anything.

Additionally, to use up more fabric (including the peacock prints) I included the Petit Pochet from Pretty Little Pouches and Purses. Again, made many and given them away, although I did keep a couple for myself, and Dr. Davis can keep business cards in that one. (That’s what I’ve got in mine.)

Second place: The Woodlands Mall, as I mentioned recently, for a trip inside Oil & Vinegar, a wonderful little place I’ve written about before. Needless to say, I am still wowed, and appreciate them checking out this space from time to time. And nevermind how much money I spent in there, either.

A trip to The Woodlands would not be complete without a stop at Frost Bake Shoppe, who makes the BEST gluten-free cupcakes ever. And, yes, this chocolate-mint confection is indeed gluten-free. Ahhhh. . .this will hold you over for a while. . . .

20131121-072322.jpg

There were, ah, pumpkin cupcakes in gluten free, but the one I wanted was the peppermint frosted cake. Oh, YEAH. I ate it with a knife and fork, and they even have their own bottled water! (I refilled that one with some of that good Woodlands water for the trip home.)

I’m not exactly sure how I got the picture that big, but OK..

I also stopped at Trader Joe’s for a few things, and then Sweet Tomatoes for dinner on the way home.

It was a long day, and a nice little short vacation for a while. Maybe after Christmas when things settle I’ll head up there on a Saturday. My doctor visits aren’t until April or May, so I might need to buzz up there for a gluten-free cupcake fix.

Ahhh. . .

Happy Dining!

Damp & Soulful

Ok, so I realize this is cheating, but in the interest of getting good gluten-free info to my readers, I want to pass along Sophie James delicious post she uploaded today. Sophie is very correct. . .chocolate and hazelnut are a delicious combination. If you eat mixed nuts with hazelnuts in it, you get a smoke flavor that stands alone when you bite into one.

Remind me to reblog that recipe for home made Nutella later.

Happy Monday!

Smoothie Thing

Good evening, Dear Readers:

Ah, fall is here in Houston. Not just less hot, but actually cool. Thank heavens. We did have a recurrent winter this past spring, which many of us so enjoyed, but summer inevitably came to remind us of Mother Nature’s intents and our light bills went up. Fall is wonderful, and it couldn’t come fast enough for those of us tired of sweating all the time.

Pomegranates are now in grocery stores. Never had one growing up. I LIVE for pomegranate season, and I just bought one this weekend. It’s sitting on my Butsudan, ripening a bit; I’ll have it this weekend.

And, my birthday is coming up. That means chocolate. And maybe a gluten-free pizza. I’m thinking about it, along with a birthday Grand Slam at Denny’s. It’s free on your birthday, but you do have to prove it, no matter how many Denny’s you visit.

Well, this weekend my tea kettle went out. Just like that, POOF! I bought it back in May, and a few days after I got it home, I started reading the reviews on Amazon.com for it. Kept my receipt, and at some point I will call Oster and see what they tell me. I did head to Target and buy a new one, and I hope I have better luck with this Aroma kettle. Sheeesh.

So, if you’re a gluten-free reader and headed to Paris anytime soon, I’ve got great news. Cafes and restaurants in Paris are aware of the need for gluten free, and increasing numbers of these establishments are offering “sans gluten” dishes and meals. (Hat tip: The Wall Street Journal.) I suppose all you have to do is ask, but since it’s not me who’s going, well, if you do go, let me know how you make out ordering gluten-free in Paris. The Wall Street Journal would know, right?

I don’t know if I’m ever gonna get to eat my way through Paris. Let’s just say it’s on the “bucket list.” For now I focus on eating locally. Like, my local H-E-B and Super Targets.

My subscription to The Wall Street Journal expires in December. Unless I can score another free subscription, I’m not going to renew.

Oh, and my newest favorite thing that I can’t get enough of is frozen cherries. Just take some out of the bag, add them into a small bowl, and let them thaw a few minutes. Cherries don’t freeze hard, like, say, a honeydew melon ball, so they’re ready almost in an instant. During the hot summer we had here in Houston, this was a great discovery. Ahhh. . .just be careful, because they do stain your skin and clothes.

I’m still dieting, and have indeed lost a few pounds, but it’s hard to when I don’t get to bed early enough. Sleep is essential to losing weight; I’ve learned that the hard way But when you get up before the chickens, you’ve got to make sure everything is ready for the next day, and sometimes that means you’re not in bed when you need to be. I’ve had to stop walking in the Tunnel every day because I seem to have injured myself. I’m laying off for a while, hoping the injury heals, and using a fair amount of IcyHot. Meantime, I’ve got to find time somewhere else for yoga or something. Still working on that, too.

A few months ago, I wrote about about the McCafe Blueberry Pomegranate Smoothie at McDonalds, and how terrific it is. I don’t have them every day, just once in a while, but they sure are delicious. However, after reading the McCafe ingredient list and buying one of those little blenders, I’ve been enjoying smoothies regularly—just not that one.

The basics of the McCafe are pomegranate juice, and a berry mash consisting of blueberries and raspberries. Also added is some fat-free yogurt, some ice, and yes, there is the matter of sugar from the fruit. This is what it says on McDonald’s website:

  • Ingredients: Blueberry Puree, Water, Clarified Demineralized Pineapple Juice Concentrate, Raspberry Puree, Apple Juice Concentrate, Pomegranate Juice Concentrate, Contains 1% or Less: Natural (Plant Source) and Artificial Flavors, Cellulose Powder, Peach Juice Concentrate, Pear Juice Concentrate, Citric Acid, Lemon Juice Concentrate, Xanthan Gum, Pectin, Fruit and Vegetable Juice For Color.

Plus there’s the yogurt involved. Xanathan gum is a thickener; you can get it in a health food store, and doesn’t have any sugar or salt in it.

I decided to try my hand at smoothies and see what I could come up with. I get hungry about mid-morning, and the smoothie sure does hit the spot.

As you may know, I’m not a big yogurt fan—but Greek yogurt is a good thing. It doesn’t have that strong, tart taste that regular yogurt has, is quite thick, and lends itself to all kinds of dishes where a soupy consistency is unwanted. Greek is strained longer, so it has body that stands up to a lot of things. Just a couple of years ago, it was hard to find, but now it’s everywhere. Been using the Fage brand, that seems to work the best.

So thinking about the McCafe model, I bought some frozen fruit, skim milk and the fat-free Greek Yogurt. Not sure what the percentages were, I just started adding stuff: 4 ounces or so of skim milk, a scoop (about a half cup) of the yogurt, two packets of Sweet & Low—yes, harmless, non-toxic PINK STUFF—and maybe a drop of store-bought vanilla extract. (At this point, any combination of spices and extracts would add unique flavor to your smoothie.) Whiz that together, then add in the semi-thawed fruit. Blend again, and either drink it or tote it.

Target has bags of single-type frozen cut fruit and mixed frozen fruit as well as bags of strawberries, raspberries and blueberries.(Hence, my new frozen cherry habit.) However, in a minute you’ll find out why strawberries are the best for smoothies. Peaches are great, but I like the variety, so I get the mixed bag, too. Honeydew melon balls aren’t my favorite, and not that great in a smoothie, but I put up with it because the frozen grapes are delicious too. I partially thaw these in the microwave on “low” for a minute—not to heat them up, just to soften them a bit. Then dump them in the small smoothie mixer and push the button until it’s all blended. Then I toss in a few of the hard-frozen strawberries, blend that until it’s nice and pink, and add it to the container that goes into my lunch bag.

Speaking of the blender, I bought one of these little ones just for AM smoothie making. I considered the more expensive ones you see on TV, but Neighbor K told me about hers. Then I remembered seeing it in her kitchen on the many days I went to walk her pug, and got one at Target that night.

After removing the blender’s contents, I add hot water and soap, run it one more time for a minute or so, dump the soapy water out, rinse it good, and drop it in the dish drain. No worries about it being clean for tomorrow. That’s Kitchen Tip #1 for today—and it works on any blender, too.

Much as I like blueberries and raspberries, there is an issue with using them for smoothies. See, I don’t drink the smoothie immediately, I store it on ice for a few hours. If I put strawberries in, it’s great, stays cold, and is nice and thick by the time I get to it. However. . .blueberries and raspberries cause this smoothie to become a solid, gelatinous mess after a couple of hours in an iced lunch bag, requiring a spoon to consume. It tastes OK, but you can’t drink this rubbery concoction, because it won’t pour—you have to use a spoon to get it out of the container. I’ve tested this, honest, it doesn’t happen with strawberries. Not being a scientist, I can’t give you an explanation for it, only a forewarning. So, that’s Kitchen Tip #2 for the day: only use blueberries and raspberries in smoothies that you will be consuming immediately, strawberries if you’ll have it later.

If you don’t believe me, try it for yourself. My smoothie sits on an ice pack for about 3 or 4 hours. I do not like a gelantinous blob in my lunch bag.

I decided to do a bit more research on smoothies, and came across this book on Amazon. I have tried a couple of recipes in it, but not all of them. Some of these are pretty out there, so it just depends on testing your tolerance for new and different things. I have to say, as good as it was, the smoothie with a tomato, carrots and strawberries was not something I thought I would ever like. But once you get over the idea of this slightly weird combination, it’s not bad. (Note: I did have to pull out the big blender and chop up the carrots really small to get it to blend.)  The book is divided up into chapters for things like diabetes, weight loss and antioxidants, and there are the spinach/kale/other veg combinations that I will likely not mess with. Since the book was not expensive, I’ll keep it.

The Strawberry Tomato Smoothie on page 99 consists of 6 strawberries, capped, 1 tomato, 3 carrots, 2 stalks of celery, and a half cup of water. Blend it well, (I needed the big blender because of the carrots) and the book says that the citric acid makes it OK to store for lunch. Well, I’d put it on ice, anyway. A bit weird, but pretty good.

Another one I’ve tried is the Lanky Limojito on Page114, consisting of 1 lime, peeled, 5 mint leaves and 1 cucumber, quartered. I put a note that this one needs the big blender, too. Makes 2 cups, and is supposed to be an alcohol-free, low-cal substitute for a Mojito. (If you decide to throw in some rum, you’re on your own.)  Hey, I just like limes and cukes–I think, but I don’t remember, that I tossed in some sweetener. This too was pretty good, but I don’t know that I’d be doing it every day.

There are a number of recipes in this book I have bookmarked but I haven’t tried yet. Most of the ingredients can be purchased at any regular grocery store. I can’t keep a full produce department in my fridge, so I’ll try them on a rotating basis.

Now listen. . . .

Twenty years ago I had a boyfriend who went bonkers because I made a salad with fresh sliced strawberries and fresh spinach. Never seen that before, myself, being from New Orleans. I made it for us one night for dinner, and he called it a “food crime against nature.” With the blended dressing on it, I coaxed him to try one bite, and he loved it. (However, I don’t think I’ve made that in about 20 years; the next boyfriend was a fussy eater.)  Again, it’s testing the limits of your tolerance for new things. You never know what you will discover next that you are missing–like frozen cherries.

Williams-Sonoma also had a book in their Baybrook Mall store recently called Superfood Smoothies, which goes into the goji berries and acai kind of thing. I almost bought it, but the weird ingredients were a big turnoff. Then I saw where it said milk and dairy were “bad foods,” so I put it down and left it. Yes, if you’re allergic to dairy, it’s a bad food. I don’t have a problem with these things, and the idea of buying goji berries. . .well, I’d rather have strawberries or raspberries anyway. Heck with it. It was beautifully photographed and all that, but after I read some of the reviews, I was glad I didn’t buy it. And the incredibly nasty comments told me I was right. I like shopping at my local H-E-B, and now and again, heading to Central Market or Trader Joe’s.

Now, down in the Tunnel, there is a fast-food place you’re probably familiar with: Smoothie King. They occasionally have folks handing out samples of their wares with the idea of enticing them in for a full size version. The samples were a strawberry-banana flavor and a chocolate version. I almost bit on the chocolate, but I realized that there was likely soy powder in one or both of them and I kept walking.  Soy is used as a protein supplement, but if you’re allergic like me, it’s not a good thing. I have glanced at their menu, but nothing seemed appealing at all. With the prospect of soy in one of them, I just don’t bother.

As with any allergy, you should ask what’s in it before you pay for it. (Ask me, I know.) Better safe than sorry. If they give you any lip about it, do what I do—turn around and walk out. If you’re allergic to something, you’ll be living with the side effects if you “don’t want to bother.”

Smoothies are, of course, a great way to have fruit, veg, dairy and other healthy ingredients in a convenient, drinkable form. It takes finding a good combination before you hit on the ones you like. If you’ve got a working blender, you can make a smoothie, no special equipment needed. I know about that Nutri-Bullet with 137 attachments and containers. I prefer mine–easy to use with 3 pieces and a wall cord.  It fits behind the new tea kettle, between the microwave and the utensil crocks.

While not a brand new thing, you may find you enjoy smoothies and the convenience of a portable health food. If you find a good combination, post it in the comments and I’ll try it as soon as I can. (Note: anything with “mud” in the ingredient list is off the table for me.)

Happy Dining!

Speak softly . . . .and carry a big lunch bag

Hello, Dear Readers:

Yes, a post so soon! Count the blessings. . . .

So, yesterday was my pesto-makin’ day. The basil plant was two feet high! And on the way home from work on Friday, I stopped at the HEB up the street from the Park & Ride and picked up a few things, including some fresh basil. ‘Cause I knew I wouldn’t have enough for a full batch. I now have three containers of my favorite frozen pesto, one of which contains parsley from Suzanne Somers’ Appetizers book. A quick tidy up of the freezer and I discover that I also have a partly used container of Buittoni that I bought earlier this year when I didn’t have any pesto. So, I’m good. I’ll see if this basil plant will produce any more, and if not, call it a day. I didn’t take any pictures, because, well, it looks just like every other pesto-makin’ day I ever had.

Next year, I’m planting two or three basil plants in that bucket. I want more pesto–faster.

As you might imagine, I’m a big-time brown baggin’ lunch kinda gal. Been doing it for years, for a number of reasons. One, up until a few years ago, eating out for lunch every day was out of my budget. However, I also came to realize that when you brown bag it, you can have anything you want. Rachael Ray will remind you that you can control the quality of ingredients, which I kind of knew already. If you’re in an area with not a lot of variety for lunch, you’re stuck with whatever is available. So, I prefer brown bagging, and also carry milk for coffee and tea.

Finding the perfect lunch bag has been a challenge.

Last weekend I ordered this baby from Lands’ End, one of my favorite shopping venues. I actually wanted the denim model, but this canvas one is, at the moment, on sale for $9.99. (I don’t do pink.)  I’ve paid about $13 for some in Target, and they’re OK. I actually saw someone in my building at another company with this lunch tote, with her initials on it, of course.

Yesterday the lovely lunch tote arrived from Lands’ End, and it looks like this with my initials on it:

Lands' End Totes #!

I’ve had nearly every bag I’ve bought from them monogrammed with my initials exactly the same way, except for a suitcase I bought from Lands’ End in 1993. That one will be going to a repair shop one of these days to get a new zipper. (I also have two smaller travel bags I bought from them two years ago with, again, the same initial configuration on them; but they’re red, and the thread is black).

Their lunch totes are all made like their regular tote bags, of course, and oh, this other bag was a gift.

Well, two years ago, Lands’ End had a contest on Facebook, and I was one of ten people who won a tote bag with BOO for Halloween. I have used it many times outside of Halloween, but then I realized how great their tote bags are, and I’ve bought more. (They now make tote bags just for Halloween, too.)  Two bigger tote bags are in the closet holding stuff, although they have been used in transit. This lovely wine colored one I got last year with a warm winter shirt when someone gave me a gift certificate for my birthday.

Lands' End Tote Bags #2

So what about the rest of the lunch bags? Well, I still have them, and these came from Target, including that little black one with Rachael Ray’s name on it, although that’s not why I bought it. I need to stitch one end of it, too. I got it about 3 weeks ago.

Lunch bags 1

Lunch Bags #2

This was bought on sale at, I think, Bed, Bath & Beyond or Sur La Table for some ridiculous price like $1 each, so I bought two. They’re nice, but they’re too small for everyday commuting, so I use one when I go on day trips and carry some nibbles.

Small Green Lunchbag

Being the seamstress, I’ve also attempted to make them. This book, Lunch Bags, is one of my favorites, and I just love all the neat projects. Neighbor K, a competitive athlete, as well as an SGI member have been the recipients of the Bicycle Lunch Bag, and I also made this one for myself. It’s actually lined with felt, the stuff you buy for projects and hats. The handles unbutton to loop around the handlebars, and it hangs in front. One of these days, my bike will be getting fixed, too.

Mind you, I’d love to show you what that looks like, but I can’t find the picture. Or the bag. Darnit.

Note: the SGI member didn’t actually have a bicycle, she saw the pic on Facebook and just wanted one. I made it for her anyway along with a few other things. Neighbor K told me she uses it to take her lunch to work everyday; I don’t know if she’s ever put it on her bicycle. When I gave it to her, she was already looking for a little something to carry stuff in when she rides, so that was a good thing.

Out of some remnants I bought, I made this model, the Zipper Top Lunch Bag:

Zip Top Lunch Bag

Not made to spec, but you can’t tell from this picture. I have another just like it that’s halfway finished, but I don’t yet know who to give it to. See, I was able to find something called Thinsulfleece that’s called for in the book, but it does not keep everything cold. Because it’s cotton, an ice pack, my usual method of chilling, will soak through. So you have to keep it in the office fridge until lunchtime. This kind of defeats the purpose of making the lunch bag, but it’s nice to have, anyway.

My favorite out of the book is The Hobo Bag, and I made two using up scraps and just a little cotton belting. They’re great, but because they’re unstructured, well, it’s not a good commuting bag, but great for a day trip or a picnic for two. The Southwestern bag went with me to both Albuquerque and Arizona last year, and the blue one has made many trips as well; I think I took it to Delray Beach last fall, too. One thing I need to do if I ever make another one is to buy more of the belting and pre-wash it, since it shrunk when I washed the blue one, It’s fine, it just sits right under my arm. So if I can remember how to do math, I’ll figure out the right amount to buy next time, pre-wash it and then make it.

The original reason I bought the book was for The Executive Lunch Purse, but I haven’t made that one yet, either. It’s just cut. I was able to find the same fabric used in the picture; and it’s also unmade. One of these days.

If you’ve found the perfect lunch bag, let me know where I can find one, please. For now, I’m going to use the Lands’ End model, and hopefully it’ll fit in my bag just fine and I’ll be able to keep stuff cold most of the day.

Anyway. . .we live for lunch.

Happy Dining!

Quinoa–the sequel

Well, dear readers, once again, life gets the better of me, and I don’t quite get around to writing on this blog the way I’d like to. But here I am, and I’m looking for new topics regularly.

I’m back on the dieting thing, and have lost about 7 pounds so far. Ignoring sandwiches and a weird looking chocolate cake at the office this week helped. Well, it was not only chocolate cake, but had white icing and filling, as well as either mocha or milk chocolate filling in the center, too. Weird, and when it was cut open, the first words I thought of were “hot mess.” If you’ve ever seen a woman with way too much eye makeup on, you get the idea of what this cake looked like, despite its designer exterior. I didn’t even bother to take a picture. It was really easy to pass up, even for a chocolate lover like me. I wasn’t hungry enough to eat white bread either, so the whole lot sat right by my desk and I didn’t even look at it except in passing.

Seven pounds down, nine-hundred and twelve to go. Just kidding, it’s not that much. Just feels like it.

I also received part of an order today from Territorial Seed Company in Cottage Grove, Oregon. Two packets of what they call “City Lettuce,” some sage and Italian flat-leave parsley. The garlic bulbs will be shipped in a couple of weeks. Let’s see if I can get this stuff going again. The sage dried up earlier this year, and the parsley I had growing never really took off.

Neighbor K gave me 4 big white buckets that came from a restaurant, and they never returned to her office to retrieve them. One of them smells like garlic, so. . .guess what’s going in it? I’ll keep you posted.

Some time ago I wrote about one of my favorite foods, quinoa. It’s now called a “superfood,” although I’m not sure why. I’ve been buying it for 15 years. Sure it’s nutritious, but I just like it because it’s tasty. I’ve made it for a few people, including my two beloved neighbors K and R, who have been occasional taste-testers of new recipes (or the occasional excess), but mostly I make it for myself.  Two of the recipes in Giada de Laurentiis’ book Weeknights With Giada include quinoa, and both are pretty tasty. (R is the elderly neighbor lady who has also been the recipient of extra cupcakes from the office.)

I made a small amount of quinoa on Saturday, and it put me to sleep for an hour. So it does have enough carbohydrate to do that. That’s why I don’t eat it too often, and not as much of it, mostly as a side dish, always with other stuff.

I’ve discovered, though, that not everyone is as enthusiastic about quinoa as I am.  Granted, not everyone likes everything. Much as I think chocolate is the food of the gods, one of my grandmothers did not like chocolate, as did a project manager I used to work with at Boeing. In fact, when it was birthday cake time, you knew who brought the cake if it was either half chocolate/half vanilla, all vanilla, or something like Italian Cream Cake (which made me taste test it more than once, because it was that good.)

So, in my favorite newspaper, The Wall Street Journal, comes this article on the backlash from quinoa’s new popularity. See, it’s trendy and popular now, much like gluten free, (plus it IS gluten free) so there are folks have become somewhat anti-quinoa from the influx of new quinoa dishes. To me, this is like being anti-tea or anti-cupcake, so I think that many of these folks haven’t had quinoa prepared correctly. That’s just my guess, as well as someone who wrote a letter to the editor on the subject.  (Please, someone tell me what the heck “Quinoa Gelato” is.)  But I also know it’s a matter of taste, what one person likes, and the preparation at the same time.

No, gluten-free is not a fad--especially not if you have a problem with wheat.

The article also references a fun Bud Light commercial. A man, standing over his grill, is ready to start some heavy duty tailgating at a football game when he discovers that his lovely wife has packed. . .veggie burgers made from “queen-ah”. Personally, my foodie brain wants to know how the heck you make burgers with it, but I’m sure it’s stuck together with a glue like eggs or something. (Then again, I’m always trying to figure out that kind of thing.)  But he puts it on the grill anyway, despite it tasting like a “dirty old tree branch,” because his team won the last time he “accidentally” ate it. (Warning: the comments on YouTube underneath aren’t all polite. Read at your own risk.)

Lesson learned here is simple. Ladies—unless you *know* your man is a devoted vegan/vegetarian and enjoys quinoa, he wants MEAT, and he hates surprises. Don’t do that. Trust me on that one. I once brought home a six-pack of designer beer for a certain ex-boyfriend after he said, “surprise me.” He never said that again, and never trusted me with his beer.

Now, the original article is a good overview, but the comments are hilarious. All 127 of them, at this writing. OK, I get it, people get started on something and overboard with it, with soy being a good example. (I still hate soy.) I see drinks, foods and other stuff with something called acai berries, and I still don’t have any idea what they are. Will they grow in the backyard? Then there’s something called goji berries, and the gallons of juice sold by direct marketing (i.e., a neighbor down the street who’s “got a great new home business that’s gonna make me rich.”) I have tried neither of these items, but I’m told goji juice tastes like something rancid. But people who follow all the “healthy trends” consume it because it’s supposed to be “healthy.” Mold is *so* good for you. . . .

So back to the quinoa article comments. If you really need a funny, click on the link above and start reading, and read the oldest first. You’ll see comments like:

My introduction to quinoa occurred while living in the Andes of southern Peru in the 1960s. My dog loved it; I did not. Ever since, I’ve thought of quinoa as Andean kibble.

YUCK! P’TOOEY!

My wife is into all this superfood lunacy. She fed me a “kale smoothie” last week that tasted like it was scooped from the bottom of a swamp. To hell with kale, and I hope she never finds out about quinoa.

This is my award-winning quinoa recipe: add it to a mash and feed it to a pig. Take the pig to a butcher and have him smoke the whole thing. Mmmm …. good eating.

@Charleen: I’m feeding my cows organic quinoa and getting the best quinoa cheese…well, I was until they went on strike for better work conditions…the union negotiators are meeting with management representatives in Aspen this week. I say, “Let Them Eat Cud.”

I hate cilantro too! Tastes like dish soap.

Quinoa is the “Hula Hoop” of food FADS.

Y’all fightin’ over quinoa? Jeezus.

And so much more quality writing that the Journal is known for.

So if you’re interested in trying it for yourself, here’s my favorite quinoa recipe from Suzanne Somers’ book Slim & Sexy Forever. This recipe is in the prior post on quinoa, but I’ll include it here, and add that I toss in a cube of chicken bullion to the water when it boils. REALLY good, honest.

Sauteed Herb Quinoa

1 cup dry quinoa

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

2 shallots, finely diced

1 clove garlic, minced

2 teaspoons finely chopped fresh flat-leave parsley

Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

Prepare the quinoa according to package directions (or see directions above.)

While the quinoa is cooking, place a saute pan over medium heat. Add the olive oil and shallots; saute for 2 minutes. Add the garlic and cook for 1 minute longer. Add the cooked quinoa and the parsley and stir to combine. Season with sea salt and pepper and serve immediately.

Just because I like it doesn’t mean anyone and everyone who reads this blog is going to suddenly be completely devoted to quinoa. Sure, there are more recipes for it, now, and that’s a good thing. If you decide to try it, hey—no saying you have to eat it again, right?

However, this blog is about the funny. Quinoa optional.

So if there’s anything funny in food, it’s these comments on the WSJ’s website. Go take a look and see what some other anti-quinoa folks are saying.

WARNING: don’t drink anything while you’re reading them, or you’ll be bringing your keyboard or laptop to your local repair shop to be cleaned.

Enjoy!

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