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The Chocolate Cake Affair

Good evening:

Regular readers of this humble blog may remember the chocolate-laden, gluten free post I re-blogged last week from fellow foodie writer Sophie James, who writes a very elegant blog called Stories from the Stove. Of course, that’s where the similarity ends, because mine is. . .less elegantly written. But that’s OK, I get my point across, and that’s a nice gluten-free cake she’s got there.

I’m going to tell you about another chocolate cake in a minute, and the story that’s attached. In a minute. Because, it was my BIRTHDAY.

This week marks a number of starts. First, I have switched phone companies and now have an iPhone 4s. I really didn’t want a Smartphone, because I see how dumb it makes people. But I was missing too much important email; people and companies assume everyone has one, so it became a necessity.  I’ve loaded it up with lots of cool apps, including one from east coast grocery chain Publix, which includes a nice grocery list function. It’s free and really handy, although it can be a little fussy. And you don’t have to go to Publix to use it! My local HEB used to have a similar thing on their website, but not anymore—and the only apps HEB has are all for HEB Mexico.) There are a number of free grocery list apps available for the iPhone, but I’ve been using the Publix grocery list for a couple of years on the PC, so I decided to stick with that one.

Once in a while, I actually make a real, live phone call with my iPhone. Go figure!

I also take comfort in the fact that people who are considered geniuses have very messy desks. That’s why you’re not seeing pictures of mine. Ever.

Also this week for my music fans, Def Leppard’s CD/DVD set of their Viva Hysteria concerts in Las Vegas earlier this year was released this week. If you buy it from Amazon, they also have something called “AutoRip” where you can download the audio for free, right away, and import it directly into iTunes before your hard copy arrives. Mostly I want to see the concert video, since I couldn’t get to Vegas to see these five handsome UK males (and they didn’t come to Houston this year) so that will be next week. I also have their previous live CD Mirrorball, and kept up with their shows on Facebook, so I kind of know what to expect.  If you’re a fan—and yes, I am—you can read more on DefLeppard.com.

Yeah, I know, it’s not foodie related. But it’s new. And it’s Def Leppard. RAOW.

The current diet phase is over, and I’ve lost ten pounds. Woo hoo! Should have been more, I tell myself, but if you don’t sleep 8 hours or so a night, and you sneak some chocolate now and again, you won’t lose as much weight. I know this because I’ve seen it myself on the daily diet charts. On the mornings where I slept less than 6 or 7 hours, I either stall or gain a bit. When I sleep enough and more or less follow the program, I drop it. Mostly I sleep in on the weekends, because there is too much to do when I get home at night. My evening task lists always start with, “feed cat. Feed big cat.” You can guess which one is the big cat.

I also ordered a case of 12 cans of Somersweet two weeks ago to stock up for a while. There was a free gift with purchase, travel sizes of some of her exclusive toxin-free hair care products. The day the box arrived, I got an email from SS’s website telling me that “Somersweet is 25% off!” Had I waited a week, I would have saved about $22.50. AAAAHHH!!! But that’s kind of the way my luck goes sometimes; I didn’t know that was coming. Darnit.

Last week was the annual Bootcamp for American Writers & Artists, Inc. (AWAI), where I’ve been for the last three years, twice on my birthday. Unfortunately, I couldn’t make it this year, but will try again next year. It’s like missing the family reunion to me, but I wasn’t able to go for a handful of reasons. Keep your fingers crossed for next year.  Last year they not only baked my cake, I also had 325 copywriters sing me Happy Birthday.

This year, I’m on my own. But that’s OK too.

It was also at last year’s Bootcamp that my friend Akinnyi from London, a very nice man, said to me, “well, why don’t you write a food blog?” On the way home, the ideas started to gel, and I got on WordPress a few days later. In fact, when I logged on tonight to start this blog post, WordPress had a message for me: Happy Anniversary! It was one year ago, October 29th, that I started this blog.

Foodies have been rolling their eyes ever since. Including Sophie James, I bet.

This one’s for you, Akinnyi. Thanks for the idea. I ran with it.

Since I didn’t go to Bootcamp this year, I had to bake my own birthday cake. I already knew which one it would be, because I baked it many times before. It’s the Chocolate Ganache Cake from Suzanne Somers’ original 2002 Desserts book, incorporating her newly released Somersweet in to the recipes so that delicious desserts were available to make and not give you sugar crashes or toxins from aspartame. It was a while before I tried Somersweet, but eventually I was won over, and I still buy it today, in it’s updated form.

So this cake is, indeed, gluten free, because there is absolutely no flour of any kind, no sugar, and made from basic ingredients (and Somersweet). But since Suzanne Somers Desserts was published in 2002, most people hadn’t heard the term “gluten free” unless they were suffering with celiac disease or some other reaction from wheat. In this book, it’s considered “low carb,” because that’s primarily what SS’s books were about. Sugar manifests in many forms, wheat included, since most carbs turn to sugar in your bloodstream.  That sugar then stimulates the insulin response, and that’s where things can go awry, particularly with continued intake of sugar.

You may not realize this is happening until your doctor starts talking about “options for managing your diabetes.” I know this because my Dad continually ate what he was told by his doctors that would “improve his heart health,” only to later find out the hard way that none of it was true. Didn’t help his heart and didn’t prevent diabetes.

Anyway, enough of the Wheat Belly lecture.

This book was published just after Somersweet first came out in 2001, and the entire book, plus another called Chocolate, are all healthier versions of various desserts (although some may have small amounts of sugar for the times you can handle it.) This particular cake calls for a small amount, since the original Somersweet was 5x sweeter than regular sugar. Today, Somersweet is cup for cup like sugar, so I did a little reconfiguring to make it come out right.

The actual cake part is made by beating 8 eggs for several minutes with some baking soda and getting so much air into them that they bake up and come out baked as a cake. I haven’t made this one in 3 years, but it’s pretty simple to make, and works every time.

Beating eggs for 8 minutes fluffs them up for a perfect cake

Beating eggs for 8 minutes fluffs them up for a perfect cake

You bake the cake for longer than the 15 minutes in the book.  I think the new Somersweet changes that part, since it used to be just 15 minutes. But that’s OK. What you get out of the oven (using a 9 inch springform pan) looks like this:

It got a bit browner than I planned

It got a bit browner than I planned

Then you cut it into three layers, not the two I used to do:

Oops. But we can fix it

Oops. But we can fix it

This is an extremely delicate matter, because one wrong move and the whole thing falls apart. It’s heavy and dense, so you have to have a big spatula or two to move the bottom over to the cake plate.

A trick I learned from the Barefoot Contessa recently is to put a small dollop of buttercream under the bottom layer so the cake sticks to the cake plate. I did that, and later regretted it when I put squares of wax paper underneath so I could make it without a mess. Uh, right. . .

So, I grabbed my offset spatula and got busy with it:

Filling the first layer

Filling the first layer

Filling, or repairing, the top layer

Filling, or repairing, the top layer

Starting the ganache process. it didn't go well

Starting the ganache process. It didn’t go well

See the wax paper squares? That was intended to keep the ganache from dripping all down the shelves of my fridge. Unfortunately, it not only facilitated dripping chocolate, it made the ganache drip outside the confines of the baking pan I put the cake plate to to contain the mess. So it made a bigger mess than it was designed to contain. It figures.

That’s what’s known as irony, if you didn’t know that before.

After that last picture, I stuck the whole thing, plus the dishes of buttercream and ganache, in the fridge to chill and thicken up a bit, hence the drips on the top shelf.

This cake recipe includes a rich chocolate buttercream filling and a very nice ganache that is poured over the whole cake. Trust me when I tell you that I do not waste a drop of it. One of the benefits of being in your own kitchen is that YOU get to lick the beaters. If you have kids around, then you have to bake when they’re not around or are otherwise occupied.

Simple chocolate ganache. Yes, thank you.

Simple chocolate ganache. Yes, thank you.

Chocolate Buttercream. Is there anything more perfect?

The finished product, ready to eat

The finished product, ready to eat

In the end, it all worked, and while it doesn’t look quite the same as the picture in the book, it’s pretty tasty looking.

I picked up some raspberries at Kroger, and decided to up the ante a bit, because, well, I love raspberries with chocolate to begin with.

Just a little something extra to make it all mine!

Just a little something extra to make it all mine!

Four years ago I also bought that ceramic cake plate because putting it on a dinner plate wasn’t working. Of course, on this one it’s a bit, um, earthy, so the chocolate doesn’t exactly stand out. DUH. But that’s what was available at Hobby Lobby the day I went over there. It has been collecting dust, because I’ve gone to Bootcamp the last three years and didn’t bake my own cake.

Of course, the kitchen suffered and boy did I work to get that taken care of:

The remains of the cake (after filling and frosting)

The remains of the cake (after filling and frosting)

Chocolate ganache everywhere!

Chocolate ganache everywhere!

So, here’s what my favorite gluten free, sugar free, low-carb Somersweet chocolate birthday cake looks like when you cut a slice:

Rich. Thick. Chocolate. Any questions?

Rich. Thick. Chocolate. Any questions?

And to serve it:

OK, OK, so I flopped it on its side. It's edible.

OK, OK, so I flopped it on its side. It’s edible.

I did share with one of my neighbors and one of my Buddhist friends I visited the next morning. I would have shared with two of my neighbors, but the other one had surgery around her mouth and can’t chew. She got some delicious Tuscan White Bean and Garlic Soup. She didn’t want all of it, so naturally, I ate the rest this week. I gotta make me some more of that soup soon–it’s so good, and takes just about 20 minutes.

Now, it was indeed my birthday, so I headed out first to Starbucks for my free birthday drink. Want to guess what that was? Well, if you read my blog earlier this year, you’ll probably figure it was a Hazelnut Macchiato, and you’d be right. And because it was a splurge, it was my free one, and it was my birthday, I got a big one, and it went on my Starbucks card. I watched someone ring up a $4.65 cup of coffee and it went to “no charge.” However, I only do that once a year, when it’s offered. And check out the artwork on my coffee cup:

Coffee Cup art

Isn’t that cool?

I then went to Denny’s for a free gluten-free Grand Slam. Well, almost free:

IMG_0028[1]

OK, so there’s the seasonal fruit cup off-camera that was 49 cents, and then the blueberries for the oatmeal was another 49 cents, and one more thing, I think, for a total of $1.61. Maybe it was the milk for the oatmeal; but still, it was pretty darn good.

Now for dinner, I decided on pizza–home made, gluten free pizza. I took out the Wheat Belly Cookbook and got to work. However, I also used a canned pizza sauce without sugar in it, as well as some delish sausages bought on sale at Cost Plus World Market. (Because it was my birthday, I had a $10 off coupon, plus they allowed me to use a 10% off purchase coupon I got in the mail. Cool!) Not bad, not bad, and I had plenty left for breakfast.

Pizza!

Pizza! (And half the Mango Mojito with Somersweet)

Overall, it was a pretty good day, and I even got a new shirt nearly completed too. The weather was good, the sun was out, the sky was a beautiful blue, and fortunately, everything was pretty good.

Sunday brought an old friend for dinner, and he was wowed with not only the cake but a delicious salad from Giada de Laurentiis and one of Nigella’s delicious dishes from her last book. More on that later.

Of course Monday came along, and I now live for next weekend, where I am promising myself I will not drive anywhere for anything and stay home for 48 hours. I hope so.

Enjoy!

Happy Easter, Passover, Bunny Day, and Sunday!

Hello, Dear Readers:

As I’ve said a few times, I’m a Buddhist, since 1986. Therefore, Easter, Passover, and most other holidays aren’t part of my individual faith. However. . .that doesn’t mean I ignore them, especially if there’s food involved. I mean, why? No need to be rude if someone offers you a macaroon or king cake or something. . . .

Is your church group doing something for Easter? Egg hunt, having an Easter Bunny on hand, or maybe some other kind of spring-related celebration? Bet you’re not having the Easter Bunny jump out of an airplane. Well, someone is. . .and it’s a man who teaches Navy SEALS to jump out of planes, in a bunny suit. I mean. . .that’s a manly man you do NOT argue with, OK? He can kick your butt wearing that bunny suit, and you will address him as “Sir.”

Anyway. . .

I grew up Catholic. Didn’t meet anyone Jewish until I went to college. At Loyola in New Orleans. What I know about kosher is what folks have told me over the years (and the bits I’ve seen on TV), like what kosher salt is really for. (Of course I use it–doesn’t everybody?) I’ve never been to a synagogue. The only reason I know about Rugelach is because they’re in Barefoot Contessa Parties on page 69.

I mean absolutely no disrespect to anyone who is Jewish. I am only proclaiming my lack of information about Judaism, particularly as it relates to the culinary arts. Nothing more, I promise!

Imagine my thoughts when I came across Raspberry Rugelach. I saw them in Central Market on Friday, and I *almost* got some, but. . .it had wheat flour in it. Raspberries in dough? Oh, yes. . .but are they kosher for Passover with flour in them?  I asked the lady next to me if she was Jewish. Well, if she was, then she would have known if the rugelach was kosher. But she wasn’t, and she didn’t. Maybe next year. The cream cheese threw me off–I thought to be kosher for Passover it couldn’t have flour. Maybe that’s Hannukah or Yom Kippur. Again, I’m the *last* person to ask about that sort of thing; I was just hoping for no flour.

In the same book on page 176: Apple Crostata, a delicious dessert that’s good any time of year. (It too has wheat, in the form of flour.) I’ve never had anyone turn it down. Me included. Hey–it’s for special occasions. I’ve taken it to Thanksgiving a couple of times, and to a birthday party once–there is rarely any left. I think a couple of years ago I had one slice left and gave it to my neighbor, who finished it off quickly and enjoyed it as much as everyone else did.

Now, Easter is also wonderful, because there are chocolate bunnies and chocolate eggs and chocolate, well, everywhere. YUM! And those chocolate eggs filled with peanut butter? I’ve craved those once or twice (but not in a while.) I’m trying to stay away from sugar/carbs as much as I can; but sometimes, only chocolate will do. Like this, for instance, found in Central Market on Monday:

Chocolate sold by the pound at Central Market

Chocolate sold by the pound at Central Market

YEAH, BABY!!

I don’t remember the brand, but I can tell you it’s fancy, possibly from France. This weighed at least 2 pounds and was nearly the size of a brick. This is not a candy bar. Well, not in the traditional sense, but it is for me. Trust me when I tell you I sent this picture to my neighbor, and I was SOOO tempted! this brick is about $10, if I remember correctly; might have been $15. She texted back, “Don’t.” I didn’t. But I thought about it real hard. That’s a lotta chocolate, and even Giada de Laurentiis would be hard pressed to resist.

If someone left that in my Easter basket, I’d be all over it. And I’d put it in a locked safe, too. IT’S MINE!!!

Now, a couple of years ago, I was on a business trip in Washington, DC. Yes, the nation’s capital. There were six of us–four from Houston, one from Florida, and one from California, a younger bloke we sort of tortured a bit. We were walking around somewhere and had dinner in a nice restaurant and dessert in a gelato shop. However, we passed a little shop I found out later was called Edibles Incredible, a DC favorite. I couldn’t resist a little more chocolate (I think I had sugar free), but I had to go back in when I saw this baby:

Peeps Sculpture, May 2011, Edibles Incredible, Washington, DC

Peeps Sculpture, May 2011, Edibles Incredible, Washington, DC

Yes, dear readers, those are hundreds, if not thousands, of marshmallow Peeps, in what one might call a “sculpture,” or as they called it, a “display.” Whatever you call it, that’s a lotta Peeps. OMG. I’m not a particular fan of them, but I HAD to take that picture.

It was absolutely gorgeous, and about 10 or 15 feet high. Heck, I didn’t measure it, but it was way taller than my five-foot-three frame. It was huge–and it was a little bitty store! I forget what kind of chocolates I bought, but it was just a couple, and of course, handmade and very delicious.

Speaking of Easter. . .my mother used to tell the story that her engagement ring was a true surprise hidden in a chocolate Easter bunny, and she nearly threw it away. Whoops. . .fortunately, somehow, a very expensive diamond ring (very 1950’s) was saved and the folks got married some time after that. They’ve been married something like 55 years now.

It’s been many years since I’ve had a chocolate Easter bunny, much less an Easter basket, but that’s OK. Sometimes when I’m having a day. . .only some chocolate will do, you know?

And on Monday, all the Easter candy goes on sale 50% off. The thrifty mother will have a secret freezer to stash them in so that the kids don’t know when she bought it. The chocoholic will simply go shopping and make himself or herself very happy.

I’m going to try and behave myself.

Happy Easter, Passover, and Happy Dining!

The Obligatory V-D posting

Hello, Dear Readers:

Happy Mardi Gras. No, I’m not in New Orleans, I just know some folks are and are out on the town wearing green, gold and purple in the only place that look works.

I’ve been busy with a number of things lately, and I have a new recipe and one or two other postings to write about soon. But this being Valentine’s Day week, and Jezebel the step-kitty sitting by my side, I guess I’d better post something chocolatey.

Why am I unattached? My first love is chocolate, that’s why.

If you’re in NYC, here’s a little fun on V-D that you’ll need reservations for: the Valentine’s Day Sewage Tour. Say WHAT? And it fills up fast–no pun intended.  What, do you do that before, or AFTER that fancy restaurant dinner?  Romance, indeed.

The best Valentine’s Day card I ever got was literally 20 years ago from a guy I’ll call “Football” (because he was shaped like one.) Football got me a card that had a cartoon drawing of a classically handsome male on the front that he’d carefully drawn a mustache onto and thoughtfully blacked out one of the front teeth. It said, “What does it mean when a handsome man brings you flowers and candy on Valentine’s Day and then takes you out to a French restaurant for dinner?” When you opened it, the card said, “Your alarm clock hasn’t gone off yet.”

Yes. . .that is, to this day, the best card I’ve ever received from a bloke. Thanks, Football, wherever you are today.

I have ordered some more SomerSweet, finally, so I hope to make some Yeast Free Brownies soon. Maybe for Valentine’s Day if it arrives on time. The difference is that I don’t have to share with anybody. When I did share some with a couple of neighbors last summer, they were VERY well received.

I make them without the toasted pumpkin seeds, and for SomerSweet you’ll have to check the batter to see if it’s sweet enough. I was using 5 tablespoons of the old version, but I don’t remember how much to use of the baking version. Or you could just use Sweet N’ Natural if you wanted. This is a very healthy brownie recipe that’s so good, you’ll forget they’re better for you. Just keep them in the fridge, and let them sit out a bit before you eat them, or you’ll be paying an unscheduled visit to your dentist. (Coconut oil really hardens up in the fridge.) And there’s your first recipe.

Before I continue, here’s a fun and embarrassing story from my past. About ten years ago, I was, ahem, “living in sin” out of some necessity with a male I’ll call, for the sake of anonymity,  “Rodent.” We both came down with some kind of god-awful flu bug, and all I could do was lie on the couch and watch TV with him–for a week. My preferred viewing was the newly discovered Food Network. You see, I did not have cable in many years, and he had every freakin’ channel on the planet. So there I was watching Food Network for days and days while I tried to get over fever and the rest of it.

It just happened to be that Valentine’s Day was on Saturday that year, and The Food Network dubbed it Chocolate Obsession Week. All week long, all kinds of chocolate recipes for the best Valentine’s Day ever. I couldn’t get enough. I couldn’t get any chocolate either, because both of us were so sick.

So after several days, my fever broke, because I went to Rodent’s home office where he was tapping away and said, “I’m hungry–what’s for dinner?” There was no way either of us were in any shape to do any cooking, so he was going to do the takeout thing again. (I think we’d done pizza once or twice, too, but no cooking.)  He asked, “what do you feel like eating?” I said, “chocolate!” He turned around, looked at me and said, “No more Food Network for you!”

With THAT picture in mind–if Valentine’s Day to you brings up visions of fancy restaurants, chocolates, flowers, romance, and all that other stuff. . .this one was cold medicines, aspirin, and blankets. At least Rodent has a “fake-me-out” gas fireplace that was nice and warm while we had fever.

And, today we’re friends miles apart.

Here’s another one on the pumpkin seeds I leave out: a few months ago I discovered that I had some pumpkin seeds in the back of my pantry that had been there for years. I also had the idea that they were still good, too. I used a toasted spiced recipe from an old cookbook and, well, within a half-hour I discovered that no, pumpkin seeds do NOT stay good in your pantry indefinitely. It didn’t take long for the nausea to set in, and let’s leave it at that.

Now, it wouldn’t be right if a food blogger didn’t at least mention some chocolate recipes this week, and I’ve got a few that just might fit your tastes.

First up, one of two recipes by Nigella Lawson, the Chocolate Cloud Cake. I saw her do this one one of her shows and had to try it. I used unsweetened chocolate and melted it with SomerSweet, and it worked perfectly.  I had it for dessert all week after I saw it. I only made it once, but I still remember it well.

Tyler Florence has a similar recipe called Chocolate Cracked Earth, another flourless chocolate cake, which is also quite good. Again, made it one time with SomerSweet, loved it, and that was it.

The second Nigella recipe is from Forever Summer, (now published in the US as Nigella Fresh.) Chocolate Raspberry Pavlova is as pretty as it is delicious, and isn’t a terribly difficult thing to make. I made it a few years ago when I was invited to an “all girls” Valentine’s Day dinner, again, on a Saturday night. (Shortly thereafter, I met another gent, who I’ll call “Blob.” We’ve split up and are not in touch.) I made this to spec, since it was intended for a number of people who would likely not care that it was made without sugar. One slight alteration I did was to use a heart shaped pan to draw the shape on the parchment, and baked it that way. Otherwise, it’s the same. I had a picture of it somewhere, but I can’t put my hands on it. This, too, is memorable, and I would make again if I had the occasion, heart shaped or no.

Is your honey-baby gluten-intolerant? Or do you just want something just a little less involved, but equally tasty so you can show your love to someone?

I’ve already told you about my love for the wonderful Larabars, and a couple of years ago they posted some recipes on Facebook for the holidays. Unfortunately, they’re gone, but I found it on RecipeLion, so you can make them too. For Valentine’s Day, the simple, delicious Gluten Free Black Forest Parfaits are easy with Cherry Pie Larabars (you could also use the Chocolate Chip Cherry Torte version), whipped cream, melted chocolate, and a few other simple ingredients. You could use agave syrup in place of honey, if you like. I made this for myself a few years ago for Christmas, when the recipes first appeared on Facebook. I’m glad I took screenshots and printed it, but I can’t find the file. Note: the whipping cream should be 2/3 cup, but use as much as you like.

I even have two chocolate dessert recipes perfect for Valentine’s Day if your honey is vegan with a sweet tooth!  NO, I am NOT switching sides. I just love my sweets.

The first one, Chocolate Peanut Butter Chia Pudding, is actually really good, but takes some time to chill and set. The reason I tried this was because I bought something online and a sample of chia seeds came with it. Had NO idea what to do with them, but a little searching yielded this recipe. It’s actually really good, and I couldn’t help myself, so it didn’t last long. But since I don’t normally buy chia seeds. . .I haven’t made it since. Maybe I should.

The second one, Raw Vegan Chocolate Mousse, is also really good, but note that it takes a while because you have to soak the raw cashews for six hours, then you have to chill it a while after blending. Yes, it’s worth it. Admittedly, I used cocoa powder and didn’t mess with cacao nibs, but. . .I was in the mood to try it, OK?

Bonus recipe: Homemade Nutella, which is also Gluten Free. I love this stuff!  Having made this a few times, I can tell you that you can buy “hazelnut flour” in some places, (finely ground hazelnuts) and you can use it as a shortcut instead of toasting hazelnuts here. Just measure it out and go for it with the food processor. Like the stuff in the jar, it’s a spread-on kind of condiment, but I’ve been known to eat this in a small pinch bowl with a spoon. It is VERY thick and sticky, but is REALLY delicious, without a lot of chemicals.

And there you go–something for everyone for Valentine’s Day.

No, I am not doing gift suggestions, unless you want to go and buy an assortment of Larabars or something. But that’s up to you.

Happy Valentine’s Day. Enjoy!

The Tuscan Turkey

What a difference a week makes.

A couple of weeks ago, the wonderful Suzanne Somers posted on Facebook that her Sea Salt Rubs are a great way to season a Thanksgiving Turkey. Oohh, good one! But I wasn’t doing a turkey, right?

Well. . .on “Black Friday” I get a phone call from Ann, who I affectionately refer to sometimes as the “crazy Chinese lady.” She’s actually very nice, but sometimes does odd things. (Don’t have to be Chinese for that, it just makes for a fun nickname.) Ann is from Taiwan, and despite being in the US for many years, with three Americanized children, still sometimes doesn’t always grasp bits of American culture, or doesn’t always get the joke. It’s the language barrier, so I try to explain it best I can.

However, on this particular day, Ann has purchased a turkey, just for me. I’m surprised, and I hope I didn’t sound mad (I haven’t been myself lately) and I said, “What am I going to DO with it?” I don’t have a big enough freezer, and it turns out that this turkey weighs 22 pounds.

Yes. Twenty-two pounds. Turns out it was on sale. Along with a few other things.

So it was decided that we would make it for the study meeting tonight. A Buddhist non-Thanksgiving. Just like in one of the Barefoot Contessa books.

Ann called me at 7:30 this morning. I was asleep. WAS. Knowing that this will take four hours to cook, I told her I’d be by around 12:00 pm. Well, I got to sewing, and watching my Saturday morning cooking shows, and so I was running a little late.

Maria’s birthday party is next Saturday night. I got all her presents finished off and perfect. Now I can go and drink if I want to, because there’s no driving involved.

I got to Ann’s about 12:45, and we started in on the turkey right away.  While I was sewing, I remembered Suzanne Somers’ Sea Salt Rubs, and that I have some in the pantry–Provence, Tuscan and Southwest (my favorite.) After considering it, I decided to take a box of the Tuscan Sea Salt rub, thereby making  it. . .the Tuscan Turkey.

I had this idea that I would set up the turkey in the roaster and leave. No. Next thing I know, I’m making mashed potatoes, salad, sweet potato frites and at the last minute, the infamous Cranberry Ginger Relish. Only a little red liquid remained.

So I melted some butter and mixed in one packet of the Sea Salt Rub. When it came time to season the turkey, I needed more, so I melted another stick and added another packet of the rub. THAT did it–rubbed it inside and out, and tossed in a packet of poultry herbs Ann also bought on sale–sage, thyme and rosemary. It was so GREEEN!!  But it seasoned that turkey perfectly. (NOTE: I think olive oil would have worked, too, but butter seems to give such a nice color and taste to it.)  I also used the last bit of butter in the fridge, along with some half and half, for the mashed potatoes.

Ann is now out of butter.

I just kept going, and once one task was done, I started another. Worked perfectly. Until. . .

The Buddhist meeting was actually at 5. Once the sweet potatoes were cut and prepped for baking, we stashed them in the oven. At 5:30, I turned the oven ON. At 6:00 pm, I unplugged the turkey roaster, brought it inside, and turned the turkey platter upside down on top of the roaster to warm it for when I was ready to cut and serve it.

I should have asked John or Mickey to help me bring that thing in from the back porch. It was heavy. Now my lower back hurts, darnit. Yeah, I know better. A little Aleve and I’ll be OK in a couple of days.

The turkey rested for a little more than 30 minutes, mostly because we just kept talking about the subject at hand. And I got a little help with the carving; I know how to do it, but my technique is off; I was just going to start cutting chunks, but Mickey took the knife and fork and did a beautiful job of cutting picture-perfect slices. I can’t do that. What a nice man.

Ann is growing basil on her patio, and I told her she should make some pesto. Ann has no idea what that is, although later I found out that daughter Rose does. Rose makes pesto and uses pesto frequently. I was also telling Ann about the delicious Pea Pesto Soup from Nigella Lawson, and how much I love it. Ann doesn’t get it, but Rose will make some Pea Pesto Soup for Ann one of these days, so Ann can know just how delicious it is, and what to do with her windfall of basil in the backyard. Thank heavens for Rose.

Through all of it, we never gave any thought to dessert. NONE! It was a bit impromptu, and some delicious satsumas brought from someone’s backyard became an easy-to-peel dessert. (I did think about stopping for chocolate, but ended up not doing it.)

So, in the end, I got to make the perfect turkey, a week after Thanksgiving, and everybody loved it. Me too. It was a lot of fun, and I hope we can keep doing it.

I went through two aprons tonight, too. My brother sent me an apron recently that says across the front, “The last time I cooked, almost nobody got sick!” I will likely NOT wear that apron anywhere. He never lets me forget the dinner I made for him and his family more than 15 years ago.

Oh, and Ann’s husband went to Australia for a business trip. He emailed from the airport in Moscow while he was waiting for his flight to Singapore, and then to Perth. We sent him a picture of us with the turkey before we ate it. I hope he doesn’t get too mad.

Since we didn’t have a really *big* crowd, there is plenty left over. Ann, being the nice lady that she is, gave me most of it. So, I’ll be chopping up turkey tonight, and figuring out what to do with it all, and if I should consider making another pot of The Soup of Enlightenment. and probably that other soup from Suzanne Somers with the tomatoes in it. Well, I have time on that one, just need some more half-and-half, and another batch of some kind of stuffing. I’ll think about it tomorrow.

You can see the pictures here.

Happy Dining!

Cranberry Bliss Bars now at Starbucks!

Evening, dear readers:

I headed out to run a couple of errands this evening, and stopped into my local Target store for a few things (some of which will be the subject of my next post.)  It’s cool out, so I looked into the case of the Starbucks there, and they had only one of my very favorite treats left. The Cranberry Bliss Bar.

Picture from the Starbucks’ website

I live for the Cranberry Bliss Bar every fall, (and pomegranates) ever since I discovered it by accident one day a number of years ago. I was again ill with yet another throat infection, and I stopped at Target to get my prescription filled. It was a cold winter day, and I wandered over to Starbucks and asked for something sweet with my coffee. I ended up with a CBB. . .and fell in love with it.

Hey–I was running a fever. It was cold out. I deserved it.

And my coffee in Starbucks is decaf drip. No expensive fancy stuff–just decaf drip. I think they call it Americano. Works for me. Except for my birthday when they give me a free drink of my choice. THEN I get me a decaf Latte.

If I were going to pick a last meal, one dessert would be a combination of chocolate and raspberry, and the other would be a Cranberry Bliss Bar. Maybe two.

Since that day of being ill, I look for them every year. They are sweet and delicious with a couple of different tastes running through it. Yellow cake base with white chocolate  chunks and chopped dried cranberries in the cake. Topping that is a cream cheese icing and white chocolate orange icing drizzled over that one.

Diabetics. . .start your insulins.

Really, I’m one of those “health food nuts” from way back. I believe in eating to keep your body working properly. Sweets and other non-nutrient foods should be minimal. But when it comes to something with chocolate and raspberry (get out of the way or else), or red velvet cake, or heck, even a good birthday or wedding cake–sometimes, I just can’t resist. And this time of the year, it’s the Cranberry Bliss Bar that does it for me. I want. . . .

The first time I bought one, it was about $1.50 or so. Today expect to pay $2.45 for one of those babies, and that’s what I did last year–bought ONE. And likely, the one I had tonight may be the only one I get.

I think that I may be able to bake a version of them myself. If I ever do, I’ll let you know. I keep saying that, and I even take notes to be able to do it. With the ingredients page, I bet I can craft a good version of it, too.

For now, I will be happy to have one, maybe two, before they go away for another year.

If you’re someone who likes a good sweet now and again, head to your nearest Starbucks–soon–for a holiday Cranberry Bliss Bar. They’ll start to disappear right after the first of the year, so get moving.

And no, you don’t have to buy coffee if you don’t want to. Just enjoy a little slice of cranberry heaven.

Happy Dining!

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