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Happy Cooking

Hello, Dear Readers:

I’m back with another post, with information about new trends, delicious food and healthy things.

First up: a cat being a cat.

Longtime readers of this blog know I love all the kitties, from the tiniest neo-natal just-born kitties the size of a kiwi fruit to the mighty Siberian Tiger. I believe that a cat is a cat is a cat, no matter what the size, species or coloring. They’re all just cats on the hunt. I had cats for 21 years (the last one being Jezebel the Step-Kitty, co-parented with the GER), and they really are the same as a tiger, lion, bobcat or jaguar, just smaller (and they usually use a litterbox inside.) Most house cats can’t tear off a limb the way a tiger can, making the mighty tiger unsuitable for keeping as a pet. If you talk to the GER, he’ll have you believe that Catmandu could indeed take your arm off, or at least a finger. Catmandu has been dead for 4 years, and the GER is still afraid of him.

So I enjoyed the story of smart a Norwegian Forest cat named Clive who didn’t have to hunt much while he lived for two years in a pet food warehouse in Britain. He “went missing,” but he didn’t go far. He did what any cat would do–he found a verified food source and stayed. Why go home when they only feed you once or twice a day, when you can just camp in this place and eat whenever you want? Workers knew there was something stealing food, so they  borrowed a cat trap from a local rescue group and caught his furry butt. (The microchip told them how to find the owners.) Clive got pretty porky while he was there, but once he gets re-settled into the household and used to being around his housemates again, he’ll probably lose most of that extra weight. But he’ll probably be a bit grouchy having to wait for his food again.

Because. . .that’s a cat for you.

Speaking of creatures, I was watering the garden the other night, and I looked down and saw. . .two little beady black eyes looking back at me. AAAAHHHHH!!!! I jumped back, and I hope I didn’t yell too loud. I looked that little adolescent possum right in the eyes and told him to “shoo.” He turned around and lumbered away. . .but I don’t know where he went. They might be living under the Boston Fern I wish I’d never acquired. So now I have evidence that the possums think it’s their personal salad bar. There’s no way to keep them out, really, because they’re like cats–they climb fences, get through little holes and everything else. So it’s probably not the first time I’ll have a close encounter of the furry kind back there, especially if the tomatoes, peppers and strawberries do well.

OK, it’s a little late for the holidays, but I came across this post on putting a turkey on an outdoor grill.  Sometimes in the south, it may be too hot to roast the darn thing indoors (unless you have one of those turkey roaster ovens you can park outside or on a patio that’s separate.)  Sometimes Thanksgiving is 80 degrees around here, too, so it wouldn’t be a bad thing to keep in mind for November. Remember, it was 80 degrees on Christmas Day in Houston; the cold front missed the flight.

But if you’re getting ready for graduations, bridal or baby showers or other upcoming festive occasions, this article on Exposed Cakes from the Trader Joe’s monthly flier will give you some ideas. I’m not wild about less frosting, since that, to me, is one of the best parts of nearly any cake, but, well, you judge for yourself:

In The Garden Of Strawberry Cake, from the Trader Joe's website article.

In The Garden Of Strawberry Cake, from the Trader Joe’s website article.

I guess it’s because you don’t have to cut the cake open to see what’s underneath. But it’s a nice picture.  Would you make it?

If you want something to go with your frosting-challenged cake, there’s some new flavors from the Central Market brand that just showed up at our fabulous HEB:

Oh, YEAH! Who needs Haagen-Daz?

Oh, YEAH! Who needs Haagen-Dazs?

See any favorites you want to try? Here’s mine:

This can only be good. . . .

This can only be good. . .but not sure why it was manhandled.

And of course, chocolate.

Is there any other kind?

Is there any other kind?

No, I haven’t tried any of them yet. I have ice cream like other people have alcohol–to celebrate a special occasion, to deal with something stressful, or any time I need a sweet. When I broke up with a boyfriend–I had ice cream. When it was my birthday, I had ice cream. Usually, it’s Blue Bell, but next time, it will probably be this one. But this container is twice the cost of the Blue Bell or HEB Creamy Creations I usually get. So. . .no rush on trying them.

Switching gears. . . .

Do you have any old cookbooks? I mean, REALLY old cookbooks? How about those ubiquitous (and expensive) recipe cards collections? I actually have my mother’s–the Betty Crocker Recipe Card Library, circa 1971. She was going to toss it, and I asked for it. She only used one or two recipes from the whole thing that I can recall, so it’s basically intact, including the index. (Maybe I’ll make it the subject of an upcoming blog post.) I also have another recipe card collection my mother started in the 80’s, as well as one I started in the late 1980’s. I have a couple of old books, but not *that* old. One from the 80’s, and most of the rest are after 1990 or so, starting with Martha Stewart’s books.  Oh, wait–the GER has given me three old books from The Galloping Gourmet, circa late 1960’s, and one or two others.  I’ve found a couple of my mother’s titles from the late 50’s and early 60’s on Etsy, and have them on my “watch” list. (I need a big enough house for all this.)

I also have a recipe book from Entergy, who sent it to their customers for free in the 90’s with hundreds of old recipes from Louisiana Power & Light, the utility company they bought. (It just showed up in the mail one day.)  Those recipes came from back in the day when “home economist” was an actual job. Nobody in the 90’s tested any of them, so there was no guarantee on how well they would turn out with modern appliances. But flipping through it, there is a recipe called Tomato Soup Cake. I kid you not. Starts out with a boxed mix, you add eggs and a few other things, and a can of condensed tomato soup. UGH. No, I wouldn’t try that on people I hated. Oh, wait a minute. . . .

One of my intrepid Facebook friends from Canada posted something from a website called Vintage Recipe Cards. It’s a website dedicated to showcasing the kind of foods that you used to find in magazines, cookbooks and those infamous card collections: Take a look at this gourmet abomination from the 1950’s:

The Frankaroni Loaf

The Frankaroni Loaf! Isn’t it just yummy?

Aren’t you just anxious to make this recipe for your next dinner party? You can–and here’s the recipe for it. If you make this culinary atrocity, do post in the comments and let us know how it turned out.

And after Thanksgiving, or anytime you want the tastes of Turkey Day, here’s a Sweet Potato-Turkey Pie that will fit the bill. . .and make you forget all about Thanksgiving for another six months. (It includes a can of the disgusting cream of mushroom soup, if you’re interested.)

EEEEEEWWWWWW. . .and there are lots more of these delectable detestables where those came from, just get to the website.  The comments alone are hilarious, but a number of people have actually tried these edible train wrecks and love them. Like this classic, um, well. . . .

Yummy! (Not.)

Yummy! (Not.) Source: VintageRecipeCards.com

One commenter on the Ham And Bananas Hollandaise page says that he made his own Hollandaise instead of the packaged stuff, and it’s delicious. Takes some guts to make this retro cookery, but like I’ve been told on a number of occasions, don’t knock it until you try it.

No, I’m not trying that one. Nor anything in a Jell-O mold or anything called “Aspic.” You try it and tell us all about it.

I showed you that not only to amuse (or nauseate), but also to show how far we’ve come as a nation and a people in regards to cooking, cookbooks, and everyday life. I’m sure every good housewife in the Mad Men era made Frankaroni Loaf and Jell-o molds of all kinds. (I had to eat that stuff only on occasion; thankfully, my mom wasn’t into this kind of, um, “artistry.”)  But today, we have cookbooks from a myriad of sources, as well as an incredible array of new appliances, tools and gadgets that make cooking better, easier, healthier, and in many cases, faster.

We don’t have to suffer through these artistic disasters anymore.

Several new cookbooks by famous folks have come out recently, (with saner recipes) and a few months ago, I decided to pop for Giada de Laurentiis’ Happy Cooking: Make Every Meal Count. . .Without Stressing Out. Marked down 30% at Target, I figured it was a good time to get it. (It’s not autographed like my previous Giada books.) It’s all about good, tasty and healthy food, and “practical solutions” for daily life.

If you saw my recent very long popcorn post, you saw one of the recipes from this book, for Warm & Spicy Popcorn. It’s good, and with the fresh parsley from the back patio, it’s just delicious. But popcorn isn’t the only good recipe in this book. There are actually four popcorn recipes, one of which, I kid you not, is Pumpkin Spice Latte Popcorn. After you pop the popcorn, you mix together  3 tablespoons melted unsalted butter, 1 tablespoon of light brown sugar, a teaspoon of pumpkin pie spice, and a teaspoon of instant espresso powder, then drizzle it on the popcorn. Is it good? Of course it is, it’s got sugar in it. . .maybe I’ll try it in the fall.

Much like her prior book, Giada’s Feel Good Food, this book includes a lot of healthy recipes of all kinds, as well as advice. Many of the recipes came from her weekly digital magazine Giada Weekly, but others are some that, I suppose, Giada started making out of necessity. (She’s now a single mother and a restaurateur, as well as a cooking show star.) There are 10 chapters, including one on “clean eating,” but making sure it’s tasty, too. Of course, there’s also a chapter on pasta–what did you expect, it’s Giada! But she also acknowledges that while pasta can be part of a healthy diet, there are a lot of folks who need alternatives to pasta, like Trader Joe’s Brown Rice & Quinoa fusilli pasta, which is fantastic and $2.99 for a one-pound bag. (If you can get to a Trader Joe’s.)

Giada mentions too that in Italy, they cook just a small amount of pasta, rather than the whole box as Americans tend to do. It doesn’t mean the gluten-intolerant can still have it, but it does mean that cutting down on the amount of pasta in a dish might be better, even if it’s gluten free pasta. And what to do with the “ends” of several boxes or bags (page 116)? Boil then all together and make soup, toss it with some leftovers, or just toss in some pesto and have it like that. I’ve told you what my favorite is, that I have when I get some of that GF fusilli pasta from Trader Joe’s–about a cup of pasta, boiled in salted water, drained, and tossed with some real butter and a shake or two of Parmesan cheese. Yes, from the green bottle. Don’t need nothing else on it. But that’s not too often.

Giada’s book also has indicators for gluten free, vegetarian and vegan, so you can see at a glance if it’s a good recipe for you to try.

The #breakfast chapter (yes, it’s hash-tagged in the book) starts out with smoothies, something called “Nutella Milk” made in a blender, (I seriously must try that one day), a granola recipe that is *not* gluten free, and a recipe for one thing that actually *is* popular in the culinary arena, “Overnight Oats.” (I haven’t tried that yet either, from this book or from Pinterest.) With chia seeds, almond milk, and just a tablespoon of real maple syrup, it looks pretty good.

Remember when I mentioned that “bowls” are a thing now? Giada steps up to the, um, bowl, with something called American Breakfast Rice Bowl. It starts out with 3/4 cup of cooked rice, and has a lot more ingredients before you get to eat it. This is obviously a weekend breakfast–for one person–like my favorite 4-ingredient Corsican Omelette from Nigella Lawson.  Much as I’d like to try it one day (probably with quinoa instead of brown rice), it’s not something for a hurried weekday breakfast. There are also some “toasts” (also a thing now), a couple of frittatas and strata using eggs, a tofu scramble (no thanks) and a selection of waffles/pancakes/muffins for the die-hard baker. (Polenta waffles for brunch, but not GF.)

There is a chapter dedicated to Snacks & Small Plates, which is where that delicious popcorn recipe is, as well as something called Mediterranean Chile Chicken Wings. I haven’t tried this yet, but I might one of these days. (Maybe in the slow cooker, or maybe the toaster oven.) It does contain harissa, which I learned how to make when I dove into the Martha Stewart book Clean Slate last year. It’s one of three chicken wing recipes, which, if you’re familiar, you know can be addictive. I made some for New Year’s Eve many years ago when I lived in the GER’s place from one of Suzanne Somers’ books. Well, nobody complained, and they’re all still alive. . . .

There are other appetizers (“apps”), such as meatballs, arancini, shrimp, crostini (little tiny “toasts,” really), as well as bean dip, Pico de Gallo, and other party standards.

The chapter on salad offers The Only Vinaigrette You’ll Ever Need, which does require fresh thyme leaves, agave syrup, and a shallot, among other things. I should have made some of this yesterday for the lettuce I harvested out of the garden. Well, if it continues to grow, I’ll have some (if the snails and possums let me have some, that is.)

Finally, Giada gets it, and she’s learned to use and enjoy the slow cooker. On page 104, she talks about the benefits of using one, and includes several recipes in the book. (Think she was reading my blogs?) Really, I can’t say enough good about the slow cookers, and I had both of mine going all weekend. Hazelnut Beef With Noodles (page 200) looks interesting, but I can do without the panko bread crumbs.

The chapter on eating clean contains recipes like a detox soup (Giada says she tolerates it better than cold, raw juices) and a bone broth. The new trend of “spiraled veg” gets a note on page 151, where Giada makes spaghetti out of zucchini and a tomato sauce. There are some baked fish and chicken recipes, some vegetarian fare and one treat I want to try one day: the Superfood Fudge Torte on page 160. It’s made with some surprising ingredients and sweetened with agave syrup. No black beans or avocado, but pretty good stuff, and it’s chocolate. I’ll let you know how it turns out.

In the chapter called Weeknight Warriors, where the Hazelnut Beef With Noodles is located, Giada talks about lentils, and offers Lentil Salade Nicoise. Recently I gave you the recipe for Stewed Lentils & Tomatoes, a Barefoot Contessa dish that’s cooked for about an hour. But Giada contends that lentils just can’t get any respect, and in the US, they’re primarily used in recipes like that one. In this vinaigrette-dressed salad, lentils are joined by hard-boiled eggs, baby potatoes, grape tomatoes, black olives and cucumber to make a rich and tasty fare that’s good any time of year. As easy to cook as white rice or quinoa, they can be added to pastas, salads, mixed with grilled veg for a sandwich or pureed into a dip. How come we don’t do that?

Rounding out the everyday chapters is one on vegetables and sides, with all manner of dishes you’ve probably never seen before. If you think you don’t like cauliflower, roasting it gets rid of the chalky taste. On page 209 is a recipe for Roasted Cauliflower with Capers and Almonds. That sounds good, doesn’t it? On the next page is a recipe for Salt Raosted Sweet Potatoes, which sees them topped with a seasoned yogurt sauce. (I still like my sweet potato fries, though.) Lemon Roasted Fennel, page 212, looks pretty tasty, but if you’ve bought fennel, you know that’s for a special occasion–it’s a bit pricey.

Giada’s chapter on Weekends & Holidays is the longer-cooking kinds of recipes, like pot roast, chicken, meatloaf, and, for Thanksgiving, turkey! (There’s even a recipe for a Monte Cristo Sandwich using up Thanksgiving leftovers.)  On page 254 is a beef tenderloin recipe using a compound butter made with dry red wine, a fresh rosemary sprig, salt and a stick of butter. This one is a bit more complicated than mine–the wine and rosemary are heated, then boiled until the wine reduces way down. When it cools, you discard the rosemary, then mix the butter and salt in the food processor. Once that’s mixed a bit, you pour in the wine and process until smooth.

The last chapter is, of course, sweet stuff, something Giada wouldn’t be without. From Key Lime Panna Cotta and Limoncello Parfaits to Chocolate Cake Tiramisu with Chocolate Zabaglione, plus a section on treats to make for gifts, the sweet tooth will certainly be happy with whatever you try. Chocolate Dessert Salami? Don’t go starting your new diet until you’re done with this one. How does Eton Mess Semifreddo sound? Giada hasn’t forgotten about folks with furbabies–Peanut Butter Dog Bone Treats will let your doggie friends know you care, just find a bone cookie cutter before you start making them. (Just wish it didn’t call for whole wheat flour, but that’s just me.)

While there’s no one authority on whatever we call “healthy eating,” this book, like Giada’s Feel Good Food and Clean Slate before it, is a good place to start. Healthy, natural food should taste good, and Giada knows just how to do that, with some “happy” food thrown in.

Enjoy!

 

Stewed Lentils & Tomatoes

Hello, again, Dear Readers:

I’ve had a lot happen since my last post, including. . .car repairs. I missed last week’s gardening lecture at the library, darnit, and I missed seeing our Miss Shirley. Soon as I get the Texas state inspection finished and the registration sticker taken care of, I’ll be rolling for another year (we hope.)

If you haven’t heard, Starbucks is revamping their My Rewards program. Some frequent-customer math majors have figured out that due to the new 2-points-per-dollar-spent, members will have to spend a total of $62.50 in order to get a free thing. Currently, points are issued per transaction, no matter how much you spend, whether it’s a small coffee or a $7 salad or your favorite over-sweetened coffee-tasting drink thing. The new program will be strictly on what you spend, so big spenders get free stuff faster, but occasional visitors like me might be longer for a free thing. One complaint levied was that customers were requesting each item rung separately, giving them more points but holding up the lines. Starbucks will be keeping the “star dash” days, where you buy a certain thing, or use the mobile order app, or come in after a certain time and get extra stars; that’s how I’ve “profited” with it. I check the emails from Starbucks and use them accordingly, paying attention and getting extra stars now and again for different things. These promotions will continue.

I got my latest free thing on Monday, another salad. Because I managed to get extra points on Tuesday for something else I wanted, my next free thing expires 4/28. Woo hoo! It pays to pay attention, folks. The newly revamped program goes live on April 12, and if you’re already enrolled, you’ll be rolled up into the new program. Any points you have will be carried over and  multiplied by 11, so it behooves one to get 11 points by the 11th of April to get 121 points to start with. (I’m not a complete math dunce.) If you are already enrolled, pay attention to your emails so you’ll know when the “extra point” days are, especially Mondays, and rack up 11 points before COB April 11th.

Easter is this weekend, and our lovely new HEB will be closed on Sunday. I ducked in today to pick up some milk and a few other things. Well, as usual, while I shop in the daytime, I basically had lunch at HEB. Salmon burgers, chips with a very hot guacamole, a sip of fresh orange juice, some ham, and samples of one of these Bavarian Cream Fruit Pies that the demo lady was happy for me to have:

The Bavarian Cream Fruit Pie for Easter

The Bavarian Cream Fruit Pie for Easter.

There’s also a larger one for $16. I did not bring one home, and I’ll be working hard to rid myself of the three samples she offered me today. They’re “freshly made in the store,” but. . .here’s how. I’m guessing the crusts are baked in the bakery, and then something called “Bavarian Cream” is poured from a huge plastic tube into the crust. then it’s topped with fruit, then with a glaze, then sweetened whipped cream is piped on the rim. Then for an extra touch, some crumbles are sprinkled on top. It’s not an overly sweet treat, and not as heavy as the kinds of desserts served during the holidays, but it’s pretty good. At least, I thought it was until I saw the “Bavarian Cream” poured into the crust. Oh, well.

On the way out I saw a stuffed toy I know you’ll just want two of, and if you have children or grandchildren, you’ll want to put these in their Easter basket:

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Yes, those are stuffed armadilloes.

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No kidding. Cute, but I passed on it. This time.

OK, cooking.

I’ve had some venison in the freezer for quite some time, a gift from Neighbor J upstairs from one of his West Texas hunting trips. It was a small wrapped package with just a few pieces, but I decided to use it. Haven’t had venison in a while, and I decided to. . .oh, you know what I did with it. After I used my multi-bladed hand-held meat tenderizer on it and put plenty of oil on it, then seasoned it up:

Waffled venison bits

They fit right on the plates, too.

And why not? After Sunday’s burned waffle mishap. . .oh, nevermind. These turned out pretty good for a quick dinner.

Venison. . .bits. Waffled!

Venison. . .bits. Waffled!

See what I mean about your waffle maker being an indoor grill? Of course, I’m now concerned that with all the use and scrubbing I might rub off the finish. I’ll worry about that when the time comes (the plates are $40 to replace.) I could have just used the grill plates, but. . .why? Next time.

Anyway. . . .

Spring is here, sort of, and I’ve been enjoying the last gasp of winter. Well, we think it is. . .a few years ago, we had 40-degree days in MAY. But not many of them. Every time I put away my favorite warm winter boots, I have to take them out again. Yesterday I was bundled in socks and a long-sleeved shirt, but all last week, like today, it’s  t-shirts and shorts. That’s life on the Gulf Coast. Folks in the northeast are still shoveling snow, Which brings me to today’s blog post.

It’s no secret I’m a big fan of Ina Garten, The Barefoot Contessa. I have all but one of her books (I just haven’t gotten the latest yet, nor Nigella Lawson’s) and honest, I don’t think I’ve ever cooked up anything bad from a BC book. I recently made one of my favorites–twice–once the week I got sick and the second time, because Neighbor E was given some delicious carrots as big as his forearm. (OK, they were big like cucumbers.) Like the potatoes I turned into waffled hash browns, carrots are not something I have often because of the high sugar content. When he gave me the carrots, I knew what I was going to make: Stewed Lentils & Tomatoes.

This recipe is from the 2006 Barefoot Contessa At Home, which I’d ordered online for my birthday, and requested it autographed. I forgot about that until I saw the invoice in the book, and looked at the title page. Yep, that’s the one.

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I ordered this on the website, several years before I met Ina in person here in Houston.

You can order any one of her books autographed here, very easily; that’s what I did for this book. Oh, look! I don’t yet have Make It Ahead, and now she’s got a new book coming in October. Cooking for Jeffrey! (That’s her hungry husband, if you didn’t know that.) Awww. . .I wonder if he’ll be going on her book tour with her this time. Probably not, he’s a busy guy. I’ll get that last book one of these days.

So, Stewed Lentils & Tomatoes.

It’s one of those recipes where you have just a few steps, put it all in the pot and let it cook. When you’re done, you have this warm, tasty bowl food that you know you will look forward to making again. This second time, I made a double batch so I could give some to both E and Neighbor R. E texted a couple of days later that he really enjoyed the “lentil soup.” It’s not lentil soup, but that’s OK.  He’d added one or two things to it, but he liked it, and so did R. So. . .three thumbs up.

Ready to make it? Here’s how it goes:

The setup.

The setup (except for the carrots, I forgot to take pictures before I started cutting them up.)

First, you heat the 2 teaspoons of olive oil in a large saucepan. (I used a chili pot, same one I use for popcorn, but any large pot will do.) Your carrots should be scrubbed clean and large diced like this:

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Your onions should also be large diced:

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And toss that into the pot with the carrots on medium-low heat, cooking for 8 to 10 minutes until the onions start browning; stir with a wooden spoon occasionally.

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Chop up the garlic, and cook for one more minute.

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Used my little red garlic do-dad for this job:

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Easy, and no smelly hands (if you’re lucky.) So while that’s going on, open up that can of plum tomatoes and dump the whole thing into your food processor:

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Blitz it a little with the pulse button to coarsely chop them. Also, if you’ve not done this already, rinse and pick over the lentils to make sure there aren’t any stones or dirt in them.

Now add the tomatoes, along with the lentils:

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The chicken broth:

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Sorry, home-made chicken stock is not on my dance card right now. Central Market’s will have to do.

And the 2 teaspoons of chopped fresh thyme:

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Now you see the wisdom of a hole in one corner of the cutting board. Makes this kind of thing very easy.

If you don’t have fresh, you could use 3/4 of a teaspoon dried thyme. (I recommend fresh, though.)  You also add the curry powder, salt and pepper at this point.

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Raise the heat to make it boil, then lower the heat and cover it. Then you just let it cook until the lentils are tender, about 40 minutes. Check it to make sure it’s still simmering occasionally. When it’s done, and the lentils are soft, remove it from the heat and let it sit for 10 minutes, then add 1 tablespoon of a good red wine vinegar. Stir, season to taste (if you like) and serve it hot.

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Ta-dah! Stewed Lentils & Tomatoes.

Actually, the liquid cooks down, and I guess I forgot to take another picture when it was done. So here’s the picture from the book, which is pretty much what I ended up with and brought to my two taste-testers:

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It’s just a little side dish, but it sure does pack a lot of flavor. Just the thing when you want something warm, cozy and satisfying. I have a note in my book to make a double batch–it’s that good. And if you use vegetable stock instead of chicken stock–it’s vegetarian! Wait, it’s vegan too, right? OK–it’s “meat free,” “wheat free,” and “soy free.” I don’t care, it’s just so tasty and good that I should make it more often than I do.

One thing, though–because it’s higher in carbohydrates (starch) than, say, a sweet potato, make sure you have some protein with it too, or you might find your self in need of a nap. The first time I made some for dinner with AC, I had some the next day and promptly needed to sleep. That was Tuesday. On Friday, my lungs started burning when I coughed, so I figured out that it probably wasn’t the lentils, but the bronchitis. If you’re sensitive to high carb stuff, have some chicken or something so you don’t need a nap. Especially if you have some at lunchtime at work.

If you do fall asleep at your desk, you’re on your own. You could pretend you were in prayer, but I don’t know if that will work or not.

Lentils aren’t as common in cuisine in the US as they are in other places, like India. They sure are good, though, and this recipe can show you how good they can be. (I think I have a lentil salad recipe in the new Giada book, but I’ll check on that soon.) If you do like lentils, I hope you get inspired to try this dish. A printable PDF file of this recipe is also on the Recipes page with an ingredient list and exact directions.

So what are you waiting for? Go get some lentils! Easter is Sunday, and you won’t go wrong with this dish. . .unless you don’t make enough.

Happy Easter, and Happy Dining!

Hash Brown Waffling

Hello, again, Dear Readers:

Are you enjoying your popcorn a little more now?

I saw friend of the blog SM on Saturday, and she really enjoyed the last article on popcorn. There’s a lot more to popcorn than we think about, and I hope you found it interesting (and ditched that microwave stuff!)

OK, I’m going to do an opinion piece now.

I think we’re going to see the end of Martha Stewart Living magazine within the next year or two, or at least see it rolled up into something else. If you haven’t heard, the two MS magazines were sold to Meredith, and the company Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia (MSLO) was sold to Sequential Brands Group, whatever that is. I remember when MSLO went public, the shares sold for something like $38 each. I long thought about buying 10 shares, (especially after the price went way down), just to own a bit of it, but I never did. The price of the subscriptions has decreased with the new owners, too. Meredith also publishes, among others, Better Homes & Gardens, Rachel Ray Everyday, Shape,  and Parenting.

My favorite quote from the article:

“The change will be invisible to the consumer, and will help to further strengthen the Martha Stewart brand in the advertising marketplace,” said Meredith National Media Group president Tom Harty.

No, it isn’t invisible, I saw it. Yesterday I received the April issue, and it didn’t take long to flip through it. On page 22 in the Good Things section is a runner constructed from four IKEA Signe rugs. That’s lovely. . .except I did that ten years ago as a bathroom runner, since the cats liked to drop their midnight hairballs in the bathroom. I stitched them up on the machine (exactly the way they do, lengthwise) using white upholstery thread, and now I have four of them to chose from. Completely machine washable (except I have no more cats.)  The From Martha column is all about Martha getting her hair done. This was NOT what Martha Stewart Living was all about.

And in the magazine wrapper was this “gift” for renewing:

Dessert!

Dessert!

This doesn’t look like anything Martha. I start flipping through and see recipes calling for a box of cake mix or refrigerated pie dough. That’s not Martha!! I up the front cover, and I see:

Definitely not Martha.

Definitely not Martha.

More “church lady” kinds of desserts, and not the kind of thing I’d ever make. I gave it to Neighbor T upstairs, since she’s kind of a “church lady,” and does like that sort of thing.

It’s no longer Martha Stewart Living. It’s Better Homes & Gardens 2.0.

OK, I’ll quit griping and complaining. For a while. Let’s talk about something more interesting.

Although I haven’t done a lot of waffling in a while, it’s because I’ve been using the Crock Pots a lot. Now from the company that brings you the Internet-Of-Things slow cooking machine that you connect to your WiFi and control with a smartphone app, and a slow-cooking arrangement called a “Hook Up,” comes this new 5-in-1 Multi-Cooker that bakes, steams, sautes and roasts in addition to slow-cooking. It’s the idea is that not only can you brown your meat before you do the slow cooking, you do it in this appliance, and the one-pot convenience saves time and washing extra pots. It also doubles as a small counter-top oven (I don’t know if it would replace my toaster oven), and you can steam in it too. At $150, I’m not in a hurry to order one. If I were to get one I would probably ditch at least one of my two “dumb terminal” Crock Pots, and maybe bake more in it. (A baking rack is included for things like custards.) I did notice that many of the people writing reviews received a “free sample” to try out. No, I didn’t get in on that one, I wish. Oh, well.

I’m not big on buying every single new appliance out there, especially if it does just one thing (like popcorn.) But this might be a good bridal shower gift with wedding season coming up soon. Or a graduation gift for someone who’s heading to college in the fall and likes to cook.

Now, let’s talk about waffling. Yes, again. If you haven’t become hooked, keep reading, you just might.

On Sunday (on Facebook) a post appeared from a certain author (guess who?) discussing spaghetti pie. And then it turns into Waffled Spaghetti Pie. Yes, Spaghetti Pie in the waffle maker. Pecorino Romano AND Provolone cheeses? Oh, yes. . . .

Source: WillItWaffle.com

Source: WillItWaffle.com

You’re welcome.

No, I’m probably not going to try it unless I decide to pop for gluten-free spaghetti. Well, now that I think about it, I just might. That looks pretty darn good, doesn’t it?

Taste tester and friend of the blog Neighbor E was given some fresh garden produce recently, and he gave me some of it because he wouldn’t be able to use it before it went bad. The carrots nearly as big as my forearm were used in some stewed lentils, which I’ll talk about in a future post. (He and Neighbor R loved that one.) Since I don’t normally buy potatoes because of the high starch content, I didn’t use them right away, just thinking about what I might do with them.

Then it hit me: hash browns. But not just any hash browns.

You may have seen the Pinterest or Facebook post showing you how to create them in a waffle maker from frozen tater tots (and I talked about that the first time I brought up waffling.) Unless you’re in Denny’s or some other high-end restaurant (yes, that’s sarcasm), you’re probably not going to be able to get them nice and crispy making them from scratch. So, I cracked open the new holy grail of appliance cooking, Will It Waffle? and sure enough, there’s a waffled hash brown recipe. With fresh rosemary from the HeatCageKitchen garden!

The setup

The setup.

Really, it’s a bit of work, but simple. You shred up the potatoes, either by hand or with a noisy machine.

IMG_2872[1]

I just didn’t feel like taking out the food processor this time

Here’s the trick: you must remove as much of the water as you can. My way was to use this long-forgotten over-the-sink colander, spread them out, then blot and squeeze with paper towels.

IMG_2873[1]

I think I bought that before I met the GER.

Blot and squeeze as much as you can to remove the water:

IMG_2874[1] IMG_2875[1]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am now out of paper towels.

I let that sit in the colander while I chopped up the fresh rosemary, and mixed it with the salt and pepper:

Mezzaluna knife not required

Mezzaluna knife not required

 

Quarter teaspoon of salt, half teaspoon pepper mixed with half a teaspoon finely chopped rosemary.

Quarter teaspoon of salt, half teaspoon pepper mixed with half a teaspoon finely chopped rosemary.

Melt 2 tablespoons of butter to brush onto the waffle maker, which by now should be getting hot enough to cook:

IMG_2881[1]

Mix the shredded potatoes into the seasonings, mixing well:

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Then pack it onto the waffle plates:

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Sorry about that. I only have two hands.

Spread it out all the way to the edges of the waffle part. Remember, it’s not cake batter or eggs, so it won’t run anywhere:

IMG_2883[1]
Let me warn you that unlike eggs, this will take about 10 to 12 minutes to finish cooking. The drier your potatoes, the crispier the hash browns. When it’s done, it looks something like this:

See? Hash Browns!

See? Hash Browns!

But cook it as long as you need to, until it’s crispy the way you like it. I actually cooked that one a little more so it would get crispier.

Once it’s done, take it out and cook up hot, puffy scrambled eggs right behind it. Breakfast!

When it’s ready, serve it with ketchup, sour cream, salsa, or whatever you like on your hash browns. I normally don’t have sour cream around, but because I’d made coleslaw earlier in the week, I had some.

Yes!!

Yes!!

No, hash browns are not on my regular rotation, but someone gave me potatoes, so I figured out the best use for them. Delicious.  How come we didn’t think of this before? Well, Daniel Shumski did, and we are all grateful for his expertise, too.

Oh, and don’t think you have to keep these for breakfast. Make them anytime you’re in the mood, OK? And as I told someone last night on the phone who was having cereal and milk after an unexpected double shift, “breakfast for dinner” is a thing now. Wouldn’t be a bad thing for dinner anytime. (And AC will probably be checking them out next time she comes by for dinner, too.)

Got some potatoes? Get out your waffle iron and start making hash browns. Even just once, you’ll enjoy the heck out of it, but I bet it won’t be the last time.

Happy Dining!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Popcorn Post

Hello, again, Dear Readers:

It’s already March. Nearly the end of the first quarter. How are your New Year’s resolutions going? Or have you forgotten them already? (Most people have, so if that’s you, you’re not alone.)

I’m sorry I’m late–I had mucho trouble getting the pictures uploaded into the site! Thank heavens for Dropbox.

I took a ride back into my fabulous new HEB to do some research for this story, but I couldn’t resist taking a few extra pictures. On the patio, I was greeted with this lovely setting:

Wouldn't you love to come home to this idyllic patio setup?

Wouldn’t you love to come home to this idyllic patio setup?

Those wooden square things stacked up by the wall with the Texas star on them are actually coolers. No kidding. No, of course I didn’t buy any–yet. But I did take a picture of it for future reference. HEB has a number of those wooden Texas-star adorned pieces, and they’re just fantastic.

For dessert, these lovely cakes are available in the bakery. No, I didn’t sample or buy one, but aren’t these absolutely gorgeous?

Honest. . .very hard to resist, but I did.

When I see a cake like that, especially a wedding cake, I wonder why anyone would need a special occasion to enjoy a cake like that. But they’re not gluten-free, so I keep walking.

Walking over to the fish and meat area, I had a conversation with the guys behind the fish counter. Huge Dungeness crabs and east-coast lobster snap and swirl dangerously in tanks behind the counter, and lovely presentations like this in the case abound:

FISH!

FISH!

And if you’re a fan of Red Dwarf, you hear Cat sing that song in your head: “I’m gonna eat you little fishy. . . .”  Admit it, you did, because I did when I was in HEB.

If you’re a coffee fan, you’ll be enthralled with the coffees available:

Coffee Bins

These are all HEB’s own house brand of coffee. Good stuff here. The blue ones are regular coffees, like their delicious Breakfast Blend, and the yellow bags are flavored coffees.

Want your regular brand? Here you go:

Coffee Bags

And nearly every other kind of packaged coffee you could want.

I also found this curious item:

What the heck is better than peanut butter?

What the heck is better than peanut butter?

I checked the ingredients and found out:

20160301_194911

Um, what? How does adding sugar, soy and other chemicals make it “better than peanut butter?” This is why I stress reading labels. Just give me plain old peanut butter, with just peanuts, preferably unsalted and chunky, thanks very much.

I have a couple of posts in the draft file, and I hope to get a new recipe tested soon. But in the meantime, I have something more important to talk about.

Popcorn.

I called Neighbor E the other night, to ask if he wanted to go with me to HEB. No, and he was just finishing up. . .a bag of microwave popcorn. Eeewwwwww!!!

If you haven’t had popcorn in a while, well, there’s a lot more to it than there used to be. You can still buy those Jiffy Pop pans to put on the stove and watch the foil expand–if you’re old enough to remember that.

20160301_192811
You can pop popcorn in a big heavy pot, a little oil, with salt and butter when it’s done. But you’re probably more familiar with microwave popcorn, because these days that’s what everyone does, right? You can buy single bags in office vending machines all over the US, and you always know when someone in the office “just wanted some.” And I know a couple of folks who thinks buying it in a big tin can is the best way to have popcorn, or from the microwave.

But I’m here to tell you to ditch the chemical-infused microwave popcorn. I’ll tell you more about that shortly.

We’ve been eating popcorn in the US since the 1820’s. It comes from a variety of corn that produces hard kernels that can’t be eaten fresh (unless cracked teeth is your thing.) Heating the kernel, and the water inside–either in a pot on a stove or in a microwave–causes the water to steam and the corn to turn inside out in a flash.

POP!

Food writer Tori Avey, in this article on the PBS website, explains where it comes from:

The popcorn variety of maize was domesticated by Pre-Columbian indigenous peoples by 5000 B.C.E. It is a small and harder form of flint corn, most commonly found in white or yellow kernels. The stalks produce several ears at a time, though they are smaller and yield less corn than other maize varieties. The “pop” is not limited exclusively to this type of maize, but the flake of other types is smaller by comparison. Popcorn likely arrived in the American Southwest over 2500 years ago, but was not found growing east of the Mississippi until the early 1800s due to botanical and environmental factors. Today the Midwest is famous for its “Corn Belt,” but prior to the introduction of the steel plow during the 19th century, soil conditions in that region were not suitable for growing corn.

She also explains that although most corn in the US is genetically modified, popcorn isn’t. That’s a little good news.  Popcorn became a favorite when it was introduced into movie theaters, and, well, it’s just *there* now, isn’t it?

I quit eating popcorn many years ago because of the high carb content, but a couple of years ago, I just had a craving for it, darnit. I walked up to folks and asked, “Have you ever tasted. . .popcorn?” I’m not eating it daily, but I do have it sometimes after exercising with the kettle bell and I’m watching something on TV, or in the afternoon when I’m in the mood for it. Sometimes.

If I’ve given you the idea that popcorn is something you need in your life, let me show you what I found at the lovely new HEB the other night:

20160301_192644

Look carefully at the bags of popcorn in the center of the bottom shelf:

Regular, plain, bagged popcorn.

Regular, plain, bagged popcorn just waiting for the heat.

Yes, that’s the way we used to buy popcorn, and pop it on the stove in a big pot. Let me point out that the bag on the right, that sells for $2.66, is a four-pound bag. No kidding. FOUR POUNDS. If you pop half a cup at a time, how long will that bag last in your pantry?

But most Americans unthinkingly go for the expensive “convenience” of microwave popcorn. Take a look at what’s actually in one of those bags:

20160301_192724

Yes, it’s “gluten free,” but what’s TBHQ? Read what FoodBabe has to say about it in this article:

TBHQ that is found in Smart Balance, stands for “Tertiary Butylhydroquinone.” It’s a dead giveaway that you shouldn’t be eating this, if food companies have to use an acronym for a long chemical name on the ingredient label.

TBHQ is a chemical made from butane (a very toxic gas) and can only be used at a rate of 0.02 percent of the total oil in a product. Why is there a limit to this? Maybe because eating only 1 gram of this toxic preservative has been shown to cause all sorts of issues, from ADHD in children, to asthma, allergies and dermatitis to dizziness and even has caused stomach cancer in laboratory animals.

Here’s a Smart Balance box–she’s not kidding.

This is Smart Balance microwave popcorn, a "healthy" brand.

This is Smart Balance microwave popcorn, a “healthy” brand.

Admittedly, there are *less* chemicals, and annatto is a natural coloring agent, but still. . .there’s one chemical you don’t need. And even if it wasn’t there, for $1.99, you could have more popcorn than that.

20160301_192657

This, I believe, is the Central Market’s organic brand, which looks a little healthier than the rest. You can see more of the chemical breakdown that’s in most microwave popcorn in this infographic from the article on FoodBabe.com:

From the article on FoodBabe.com

Source: FoodBabe.com

Still want that stuff? Seriously. . . .

Now, I’ll tell you the best reason to abandon microwave popcorn in an office setting. It’s dangerous. Don’t believe me?

There were several instances during my stint at Boeing where we were evacuated from the building because the fire alarm went off. Heat of summer, cold of winter, daytime or after dark (I tended to stay in the office after 5 pm sometimes.) During the day there could be more than 2,000 people in the building, and we all had to go out to the back garden with the duck community, making the poor creatures wonder what was going on and why we weren’t handing out snacks to them. We sat and waited whilst the Pasadena Fire Department went through EVERY floor (in full gear) and checked every inch of the place. I should point out that the building is a quarter-mile long, and six stories high. This took a while, causing work stoppage.

And what was the cause of these incidents? On several occasions, it was. . .microwave popcorn, that was either forgotten, over-popped, or someone just set the timer too long, causing it to smoke. Not everyone follows the directions exactly. I didn’t hear about any fires caused, but the smoke from microwave popcorn incorrectly popped set off fire alarms and the whole evacuation thing.

NOW do you see why? Work stoppages cost the company money, and waste the time of firefighters called to deal with it. It’s a pain in the butt. And it just stinks up the place, too.

Vani (the lady behind FoodBabe) also gives a recipe for a “superfood popcorn.” I haven’t tried it, but I did find the red palm oil she talks about:

Red Palm Oil

Red Palm Oil

Vani also talks about using organic popcorn. I did find some, but since popcorn is NOT GMO, it might be fine using regular. But if you want “organic,” it’s available:

Organic popcorn? Who knew?

Organic popcorn? Who knew?

HEB also has it in their bulk section. Check your local grocery if they have bulk items, and you may be able to find it:

Popcorn in bulk.

Popcorn in bulk.

Whatever you do, put real butter, olive oil, coconut oil, or whatever on your popcorn. Don’t use this and ruin it:

20160301_193104

To me, this is like putting Cool Whip on the fresh berries of spring. Why?

EWWWW!!

“Rich Buttery Taste?” EEEEWWWW!!

A pound of REAL butter costs less than that bottle in HEB. Why would anyone put that on popcorn? Yuck. Can’t have dairy? Use olive or coconut oil. Not this drek.

Anyway. . . .

You can also buy popcorn already popped, in bags just like potato chips.

BOOMCHICKAPOP!

BOOMCHICKAPOP!

Several brands are available, including HEB’s own Central Market Brand:

20160301_193440 20160301_193443

Convenient, but certainly not cheap. However, BOOMCHICKAPOP brand is made with all-natural ingredients, and they’re very open about that. I haven’t tried any of these; I just prefer to make it at home.

Here’s an article from Austin Women’s Magazine about. . .popcorn.

Now you’re thinking to yourself, “Okay, Amy, you’ve ruined my microwave popcorn. Now what do I do?”

Well, you re-learn popcorn.

I’ll be the first to admit that the microwave, derided by many as a bad thing, is a spot-on convenience that’s hard to beat. I do, in fact, have one–I’ve had to replace mine twice in the last year; the last one, a Rival, got a demonic possession or something and started acting funny. I now have that huge 900-watt red West Bend one that’s too big for my kitchen. (Long story.) Vani, as well as Dr. Mercola, advise getting rid of microwaves completely; I’m not on board with that yet, but might be in the future.

I have indeed discovered how to make microwave popcorn without the expensive, chemical-laden bags. I have heard of people making it with brown paper bags, but then you’d have to buy the bags. What if you’re out of them? Use a bowl!

I took Jillee’s advice from One Good Thing By Jillee and tried it myself.  The first time I made it, I used a flat-bottomed casserole dish with a cover. No. It has to be a bowl (microwave-safe, of course.) You can use oil, but I’ve tried this several times and it doesn’t require oil (although I just made some with a teaspoon of coconut oil in the bowl, and it works well.) Put about a quarter to a third cup of popcorn kernels in the bottom:

20160304_122748

And cover it with a microwave-safe plate:

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You’ll have to play with the timing a bit–in my 900-watt microwave, 5 minutes was about it:

Partially popped!

Partially popped! (Didn’t realize the oven needed a good cleaning!)

When it’s done, the bowl and plate will be VERY HOT.

Use potholders and caution when you remove it from the microwave. If you want butter, melt it now, in a smaller container in the microwave. (You can also do it ahead of time.) To prevent the butter from popping while melting, use a lower power, like 40%, and start at a minute. If it’s not melted, go another 30 seconds at 40% power. You don’t need to melt it all the way; if there’s a little bit left, swirl it around a bit in the bowl and let the warm part melt the rest of it.

If you’re more a stove-top popcorn person, here’s how simple it is: get a heavy-bottomed pot (like a wide chili pot, about 5 quarts or so) and put a couple tablespoons of coconut or olive oil in the pan, heat it on high. Add in up to a half-cup of popcorn, and put the lid on. If you want melted butter, microwave it now and get out your serving bowl. And do NOT go anywhere else! Soon, you’ll hear popping from the pot, and you’ll need to keep an ear close by. When it slows down, and you’re not hearing a lot of active popping, it’s time to turn off the heat and get that popcorn into the bowl–carefully! Pour your butter, salt, or whatever else you want on it, and enjoy.

And here’s a kitchen tip I figured out recently, for whatever kind of popcorn you make. Add your oil/butter and salt, or other seasonings, and stir it with. . .your salad tossing tools.

They toss the popcorn so easily!!

They toss the popcorn so easily!!

Why did we never think of this before?

If you find some “old maids” in the bowl, you can just put them back in the microwave for one more go-round. Many will pop, some will not. But this only works once. Keep an eye on it to make sure you don’t open your microwave door to flames.

But if you do, I want to hear about it!

I tried re-cooking the old maids with microwave popcorn with a friend of mine at the SGI Community Center in New Orleans. No fire, but it was a mess. She passed away a year later and kept that secret. What happens in the kitchen. . .stays in the kitchen, right, Regina?

I used to have one of those countertop air poppers, and should not have given it to the Salvation Army. I have bought three of them from both Wal-Mart and Target and returned them. Why? The plastic top melted, stunk up my kitchen and made the popcorn taste nasty. However, I have found the best popcorn popper yet:

Of course it works.

Of course it works.

I got it last year on eBay, and while I have tested it, and it works, I haven’t made popcorn IN it yet. The instructions tell you to put a flat plate out, but I could just elevate it and open the spout over a bowl. I’ve taken it apart and carefully cleaned it, so I could make popcorn in it if I wanted to. This lovely toy works with a heating element in the base under that cone assembly. It heats the kernels much like a pot would do. It’s 50 years old, and it works better than three different modern air-poppers I tried.

Sur la Table has a selection of popcorn tools and accessories, including this bigger (and pricier) Waring popcorn maker with a “melting station.” It makes 20 cups of popcorn, more than I need, and melts butter at the same time. Popcorn spices are also available, as well as the infamous Nordic Ware bowl and a couple of other silicone accessories that Amazon has. They’re not available in my local Sur la Table, so it’s on my Amazon wish list. There is an air popper from Cuisinart, and a couple of movie-theater-style machines adapted for home use.

Did you think there was this much available for popcorn? Me either.

Now, what if you’re at work and wants some popcorn, but don’t have anything but a microwave? I’ve got you covered there, too.

First thing you want to know is to get something made of SILICONE. I made the mistake, before I found Jillee’s blog post, of buying a Nordic Ware Microwave Popcorn Popper. (It was Target, so it was red.) Used it once, worked great, washed it and returned it. My popcorn was ruined by a nasty chemical taste imparted in the bowl. No thanks. However, the silicone models, from what I’ve read, don’t do that. (I can’t seem to find one locally, so I’ll order one or two in the future.)

There are a number of different types of popcorn poppers for the microwave, including many made of glass–but if you’ve got glass mixing bowls at home, well, try that first. From silicone, though, you can get this 10-cup popcorn maker for under $20, and like the glass bowl method, doesn’t need oil. If you’re in an office of folks who like popcorn, you can be their new BFF (“best friend forever”) and make popcorn for the folks.

But if you’re not, and just want to make some for yourself, there are also several options available in silicone. One I found is made completely of silicone, but I don’t know how much it actually makes.  I thought this small popper cup was a good item, but discovered that it is only partly silicone and contains plastic. This one is all silicone and makes a quart. I guess it would be a matter of figuring out how much popcorn you want at a time and popping less than a quart. It’s a little pricey, but it should last forever, if not until you retire. My advice would be to try it out at home before you take it to work. Then you can have popcorn all you want, no fire department involved.

There’s always the brown-paper-bag method although I’m a bit leery of it. Just make sure you know exactly how it works before you bring that to work, OK? The whole point is *not* to call the local fire department!

Soon I plan to do a review on Giada de Laurentiis’ new book, Happy Cooking. However, I’ll give you this recipe (on page 43) that I have tried and absolutely LOVE to make. It uses parsley, which I have growing on my back patio. While it’s thoroughly delicious, if you are caught short without fresh parsley, dried parsley will work too, although not quite the same as the fresh parsley.

You pop the popcorn first, then follow the directions. I prefer the stovetop method with the oil and half a cup of kernels, but microwaving the kernels will work too.

Warm & Spicy Popcorn

Serves 4. (Gluten free, vegetarian and vegan)

  • 1 teaspoon ground cumin
  • 1 tablespoon chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground coriander
  • 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper (I just use a little dash, less than a quarter of this amount)
  • 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 7 cups popped popcorn (from 1/2 cup of kernels)
  • 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

 

In a small bowl, stir together the cumin, parsley, coriander, cayenne and salt. Put the popped popcorn in a large bowl and drizzle with the olive oil. Toss thoroughly to distribute. Sprinkle with the spice blend and toss again to coat the popcorn with the seasonings.

So there you have it–a long story about something most people don’t think about too much.

Enjoy!

 

The Hubic Pie Packet picture
The Mystery of Hubig’s Pies

Happy New Year, Dear Readers!

Did Santa bring you everything you wanted? Yes? Good–that means he liked the cookies. No? You were a little too naughty last year. Change that, and learn to bake. Me, well, Santa knows I can bake, so he’s always nice to me, no matter how naughty.

Did you ask Santa for a waffle maker? (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)

Of course, in Houston, it was 80F Christmas Day. I turned on the AC. Good thing I didn’t need the big oven. Because nothing says “Christmas” like ice cold watermelon chunks. It was roast chicken, sweet potatoes and yeast-free brownies this year. Nothing special.

At the last minute, I decided not to bake a pan of Nicole’s gluten-free Cranberry Bliss Bars. I did manage to get one of them at Starbucks, though. . .maybe another time. At least I know I can bake them for my birthday or another time if I really want them, right?

If you’re thinking about a new diet this year (and who isn’t?) this article in The Times of India discusses new diet trends for 2016. And. . .I think I’ll pass. I don’t care if it does make me “out of step,” I am NOT eating seaweed and bugs unless I’m in an emergency situation, or on a TV show like Survivor. I’ll stick with “last year’s fashion,” low-carb, somewhat paleo, wheat free, gluten-free and as close to natural as I can get with the occasional chocolate bit thrown in.

If you like Tex-Mex, your new year diet can be the Taco Cleanse. OK, honestly, it’s kind of tongue-in-cheek, but it’s a book of vegan taco recipes, including tortillas, which may contain flour, corn and other high-carb stuff. Blonde celebrity Jennifer Aniston is all over this book, so you know it’s a winner, right? Yes, it’s a real thing, and comments like these make me actually want to buy the book for the sheer humor involved:

Many people don’t know that pictures of tacos can also be detoxifying to your body. From the moment I got this book I could instantly feel the leftover organic dinosaur kale in my body start to be pushed out to make room for tacos. The taco cleanse isn’t just a diet, it’s a way of life. If you have a dream board, put a picture of a taco on it, order this book, make a taco, and revel in a fulfilled dream.

Diet humor in a cookbook. Who’d-a thunk it?

Don’t forget about the yeast-free diet. Dr. Hotze’s people are doing Yeast Free With Me again this year. I may have to do yeast-free again soon (goodbye whole milk in coffee!) But I’ve written about it before, so if you want to try yeast free, you’ve got plenty of information available.

I did, on Christmas Eve, go to Academy Sports & Outdoors and found a kettlebell with a DVD by GoFit. I got the 15-pound model, and while I’ve only watched the DVD, I have been slinging it around using different routines I find on Pinterest to get used to using it. No bikini yet, and it hasn’t been every single day, but I did start my first workout with it on Christmas Eve–by walking around Academy looking for socks and other things I needed for 20 minutes. By the time I got to the register, I was panting, so that was my first “workout” with it. I did start slinging it around on Christmas Day, and have been using it most days ever since. I’ve seen a bit of muscle definition, and a couple of new little muscles showing. I was so sore I couldn’t move after my first set of Goblet Squats, but I’m getting used to the different muscles being activated. When I get better at it, I’ll start using the DVD.

The next big merchandising holiday is, of course, Valentine’s Day. I have seen Valentine’s Day things in Wal-Mart and one of the fabric stores (I think it was JoAnn’s on Bay Area.) Both stores were setting out V-D stock while the holiday decorations were being sold. Weird.

And if you are a New Orlenian (expat or living at home), you’ll notice king cakes coming out. Bakeries in Houston produce them, but they’re more like coffee cakes decorated in green, gold and purple, with the plastic baby not baked in the cake, as it should be, but taped to the cake board. WHAT?? (Liability issues.)  Well, anyway, the ones here are not as good as the ones in New Orleans, sorry. And the mix stuff you get in Cost Plus World Market may be passable, but it’s not the real thing.

It's Mardi Gras Time!

It’s Mardi Gras Time!

But bakeries like Randazzo’s and Haydel’s will ship them to you nationwide, all year long, no kidding. (Cream-cheese filled with blueberry or strawberry filling is a personal favorite, but I haven’t had any in many years.)

This post is about another New Orleans favorite that seems to have evaporated. But more on that later.

Speaking of Valentine’s Day. . .OK, remember a couple of years ago when Twinkies came back, and there was a lot of speculation about what the new owners were going to do with the Hostess line of treats? They’ve brought back the original Twinkies and treats, but have also added to the repertoire, partly thanks to their newly streamlined manufacturing practices.

A couple of months ago, there was Pumpkin Spice Twinkies. Well, they’re at it again–now Hostess has two new limited edition flavors for Valentine’s Day. Ladies and gentlemen, those who know me recognize that I believe the ultimate dessert combo is chocolate with raspberry. Well, I’m in big trouble:

I am sunk if I find these.

I am sunk if I find these. Gluten-free doesn’t even figure in here.

Yes, that’s right–dark chocolate and raspberry. Amy’s ultimate dessert combination. Here’s a close up:

Close up of the most dangerous junk food in history.

I really don’t like pink but how am I going to keep my paws off these?

And they’re dolled up to show the one you love. . .your love. Raspberry not your thing? There’s also chocolate and strawberry, which may also need to be sampled in the HeatCageKitchen:

If the chocolate raspberry wasn't enough to get your blood sugar spiking.

If the chocolate raspberry wasn’t enough to get your blood sugar spiking.

I first had the chocolate and raspberry combo sometime in the early 90’s in the form of flavored coffee. I think that’s when I discovered Orleans Coffee Exchange, which was in the French Quarter at the time. One of these days, I’m going to order more of their delicious decaf flavored coffees, including Chocolate Raspberry, of course. (If I win the PowerBall this week, I’ll order 5 pounds of each.)  Naturally, not everyone sees it that way–I made the mistake of giving my parents a pound of Chocolate Raspberry coffee for Christmas one year, and I never heard the end of it. My dad complained for months: “It took three days to get that taste out of the pot!” Obviously, I never did that again.

But if your one and only (or one of a few) brings you some of these limited-edition sweet things, you KNOW it’s for real. (Let’s hope the GER doesn’t get a wild idea and drop some of these off at my door.)

Oh, and I received the February issue of Martha Stewart Living last week. Guess what? Six chocolate cake recipes for V-D, one gluten-free, and one. . .chocolate raspberry cake. No kidding. That one may be made soon for testing.

Anyway, you can read more about the new limited edition Hostess Cupcakes here on Delish.com. (Try not to drool on your keyboard.)

Now, remember the fury that surrounded the Twinkie’s absence and return? People selling them on eBay for hundreds of dollars, just a couple of months before they came back? New Orlenians have been subjected to a similar torment, but this one has lasted a lot longer than a few months. There aren’t any pies on eBay, but if you type in “Hubig Pie” in the search box, it shows two pictures for sale and a beaded necklace with a number of New Orleans food icons on it.

If you’ve ever visited New Orleans, you likely saw (and maybe tasted) a Hubig’s Pie. They were sold at convenience stores all over the metro NOLA area, and they were just. . .always there.

Just like this.

Just like this. (Source: WVUE New Orleans)

I had a few when I was a kid, but knowing they were, shall we say, “not a health food,” kept me from eating one too often (not to mention frequently not having an extra 60 or so cents to spare for one–how long has that been?) I preferred chocolate, apple, cherry, and occasionally lemon, peach or pineapple. Really, it was whatever was available at the convenience store you were visiting at the time.

Yum.

Yum. Is that chocolate?

They also offered seasonal flavors like coconut, sweet potato (no thanks), and at one time also made and sold whole pies. But like a lot of things, Hubig’s Pies are what locals will call “real New Orleans.” They just are. They’re just there.

An original Hubig Pie.

An original Hubig Pie. (Source: Facebook)

Until one day, they weren’t.

A lot of people don’t know that the pie company actually started in Fort Worth, Texas, in 1922 by a man named Simon Hubig, a WWI vet who emigrated from Spain to the US. Yeup–Texas. (Source: Wikipedia.) There were actually nine locations, and the New Orleans location was the only one to stay open during the Great Depression, since it was the only profitable bakery of the lot. It stayed in the original location until. . . .

The original bakery on Dauphine Street.

The sign in front of the original bakery on Dauphine Street.

The filled, fold-over pies were fried, then coated with a glaze that made the crust a little extra sweet and gave it a light crunch when you bit into it. There were a number of flavors, including apple, cherry, lemon, peach, chocolate (with a curd-style filling), pineapple, and a few others. They were a part of the landscape, like a view of the Lakefront.

And if you snickered when you read  “the Lakefront,” I know you’re from New Orleans. (Please keep those details to yourself.) Anyway, this is what emerged when you opened the waxy wrapper:

The perfect Hubig's Pie.

The perfect Hubig’s Pie. (Source: WVUE New Orleans website)

First, Hurricane Katrina knocked them out in 2005. From Wikipedia:

When the city of New Orleans was struck by Hurricane Katrina in August 2005, the bakery’s ventilation system, an exterior wall, and the roof were damaged. Production of Hubig’s pies was halted and did not start again until more than four months later, January 4, 2006, after the neighborhood had clean water, reliable electricity, and sufficient gas pressure. Hubig’s pies increased slightly in cost after the storm, and the variety of flavors offered changed. About 30,000 hand-sized pies were made a day to be delivered on the next day.

And New Orleans was happy again. Until July 27, 2012, in the early morning hours, when a fire completely destroyed the factory.

HubigFire

Source: WVUE New Orleans website

And, to date, Hubig’s Pies are no more. A new location has been acquired, but. . .that’s it. Nothing more. And New Orlenians are sad. Twinkies? PFFT–Hubig’s Pies are more important.

What’s happened since then? Well. . .not much. Hubig’s Pies are still a mystery, and a memory.

They say they will rebuild. They keep saying it, too. In October of 2012, the owners met with Mayor Mitch Landrieu, and posted it on Facebook:

Hubig's Owners with the Mayor.

Hubig’s Owners with the Mayor. (Source: Hubig’s Facebook page)

The owners have settled on a new place, and received approval from the New Orleans City Council, but there have been. . .delays.

There are two “official” Facebook pages for Hubig’s. Neither have been updated in well over 2 years. I’ve attempted to contact the owners of both pages, to no avail. Nobody responded to my private messages. (Not like I’m Hoda Kotb, though.) The company’s website is a blank page as well.

A recent article in The New Orleans Advocate quoted the last factory manager, Drew Ramsey, as saying he “has no good answer” for when the pies will be made again. They have no idea, despite the new location they found, because they just can’t get all the gears together yet.

I asked an unnamed friend of this blog if he’d heard anything–he hears stuff and knows people, you see–and he has a friend of a friend who knows stuff about the Hubig’s folks. What he’s heard through the grapevine is that the Hubig’s team is now looking for the manufacturing equipment they need to get the pies rolling again, but are having difficulty finding exactly what they need. That, too, is understandable, since it will likely be custom-built equipment for the new facility which hasn’t been built yet. So fans cross their fingers, wish for a Hubig’s, and patiently. . .wait.

Honestly, in my experience, everything takes a lot longer in Louisiana. Always.

Additionally, the article states:

Tangling things further is an ongoing lawsuit filed in late 2012 by Hubig’s against the supplier of its plant’s fire suppression system, alleging that the system failed to protect its facility. While that suit continues, Ramsey said, options to dissolve and reform the brand are off the table.

I hope that if and when they do come back, they don’t mess with anything like the new Hostess folks didn’t. New Orlenians will absolutely HOWL. Guaranteed.

Remember back when the Twinkies went away, and suddenly there were similar products being produced? Recipes and pans were also available to make your own DIY Twinkie-style cakes at home. You know. . .that option is available, too.

Hubig’s Pies are what we now call “hand pies.” I’ve seen them in Martha Stewart Living on occasion, but have not made them myself. According to this article, they’re becoming more of a “thing” nationwide. And you can also find out what restaurants in New Orleans have been making something similar to a Hubig’s, although some are more of a fancier dessert than the absent paper-wrapped confection.

For the DIY crowd, you can easily make your own by getting yourself a pie crimper tool that makes these easy to put together. (This version gives you square hand pies, and for Valentine’s Day, here’s a heart-shaped mini-pie maker.) I have no experience making these. Admittedly, I bought two from my former Avon Lady the last time I had a boyfriend, intending to make either a star-shaped or heart-shaped pie for him. That never happened, he’s gone now, and I eventually gave them to the Salvation Army.

I also found the blog ProbablyBaking and the guy who writes it. He decided to duplicate the Hubig’s Pie (warning: a bit of language) and made apple, lemon, and in a tip to Vietnamese food, Pho. (“Faux Pho?” OK, Dude.) The recipes are also listed, and got blogger and Loyola student Beau Ciolino a write-up in The Times Picayune. (No, I’m not jonesing for the TP to pick up HeatCageKitchen, and sure as heck not waiting for the Houston Chronicle!)

Not interested in DIY? As I detailed in the previous Twinkies post, there are alternatives. I found one this weekend in my local Food Town:

From the same company that makes duplicate Twinkies.

Chocolate? Really? (No, I didn’t.)

From the same company that makes Twinkies duplicates, TastyKake also has similar hand pies.  Apparently they’re baked, not fried, but they are about the same size as a Hubig’s. I don’t see Chocolate on their webpage, so maybe it’s a regional flavor, or leftover from the holidays. But they’re available if you’re really missing the Hubig’s. I know, they’re not the same, but they’re something.

People have indeed been missing Hubig’s Pies pies something awful:

T-shirts, anyone?

T-shirts, anyone?

And there’s also this bikini if you’re daring enough. Babies have been dressed up as Hubig’s pies, as well as. . .bread:

HubigTribute

But it hasn’t happened yet.

The original Hubig’s site on Dauphine Street is slated to become. . .condos. Yes, earlier this year, the former Hubig’s site was approved to become fancy condominium development called Bakers’ Row. Because, after all, in a city with a per-capital income of well under $50K a year (US Census estimates of Orleans Parish median household income at $44,874, and per-capita money income at $26,500) New Orleans needs more half-million dollar condos. Because they’ll be snapped right up and occupied in no time, right?

It’s been done before, with the same result–long-term empty real estate. Developers found that out the hard way after Katrina.

So while fans of the fried confections wait patiently for the bureaucratic red tape to be untangled. . .well, there’s nothing to do but wait, if you really want them back. There are alternatives, as I mentioned, including making your own or finding similar versions.

But If Hubig’s Pies were going on sale first thing tomorrow, I might be tempted to go and find me one, like we did with Blue Bell Ice Cream, but it’s been so long since I had one that I’m not sure I’d be interested. (Note that they’re NOT in any way gluten free, adding to my disinterest.)  They’re sweet, crunchy and filling, like a good pie should be. . .but it’s a New Orleans thing, like king cake.

OK, let me clarify–REAL king cake, the kind they make in New Orleans, not the tri-colored coffee cake you get here in Houston.

And much like the absence of Blue Bell ice cream on Texas this past summer, I feel your pain. If you’re a reader in New Orleans, and you know someone involved, you’re welcome to forward this post to them. Remember, I’m just a little ol’ blogger in Texas, I’m not Food Babe or The Pioneer Woman, but I’m holding up the flag for you, too.

You know what? I’ve written nearly 3,000 words on sugary snack foods. I think I need some insulin! But never fear, I’m thinking about making my next column not only healthy, but easy. Meantime, if you’ve not been waffling anything, you know there are some healthy things you can waffle. If you haven’t tried it yet, go back and read the first and second blog posts on the subject and give it some thought. I did manage to waffle a pizza last week, from the dough I put in the freezer last year, and it came out great after a bit of fiddly rolling.

So, Happy New Year! Let’s make 2016 a better year for food, clean eating, health and wellness, fitness, and all the other things we resolve for this time of year.

Enjoy!

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